![Construction of Disneyland Texas, probably! Photo by Philip Hawling [CC BY-SA 2.0] via www.geograph.org.uk; inset photo via DepositPhotos.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/disneyland-texas-under-construction-768x403.jpg)
It’ll be so easy to get to! FUTURE SITE OF DISNEYLAND TEXAS — Are you as excited as we are for the newly-relocated Disneyland in Texas? Uncle Walt’s Insider is thrilled to announce that ground has been broken, and construction has begun! And the new location is just where many predicted it would be. Your…
![Mickey Mouse governor Gavin Newsom. Photo by Gage Skidmore [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/gavin-newsome-housing-cast-members-768x403.jpg)
Such a generous guy! SACRAMENTO, CA — On the heels of the recent layoff news coming to Disney Parks & Resorts, California Governor Gavin Newsom (D[redact]ick[/redact]), has announced that he plans to personally take care of each and every employee out of the 28,000 Disney employees that will be laid off. Gavin Newsom said, “It’s…
![Remember, it all started with a mouse. Photo by Olivier Bruchez [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/protesters-topple-mickey-partners-statue-disneyland-768x403.jpg)
No word yet on whether it will reopen in Anaheim or in Texas. ANAHEIM, CA — The long awaited re-opening date of the Disneyland Land Resort has finally been announced! Josh D’Amaro, Chairman of Disney Parks, Experiences, Products, and Spas alongside some random dude named Gavin something, announced that Disneyland will re-open to guests on…
![We're already sick... of each other. Quarantine sign [CC0] via Pixabay.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/UWI-quarantine-768x403.jpg)
We’re at an elevated risk, since we go viral so rarely. UNCLE WALT’S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD — The entire staff of Uncle Walt’s Insider has been quarantined in our Svalbard headquarters after one of our articles went viral recently. As mentioned by completely non-political and unbiased website Snopes [Ed.: remember, we are satire.], a recent…
Who? ANAHEIM, CA — In a time when thousands of attractions are fleeing the state of California (here, here, here, here, and here), one team dares to be different. The Anaheim Los Angeles [english: “The Angels”] Angels of Anaheim have announced that they will NOT be leaving the state of California. In a press conference yesterday, a spokesperson for…