He took all their presents, their ribbons, their wrappings, Their snoof and their fuzzles, their tringlers and trappings! WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL — For decades, Disney has embraced the holidays, overloading their parks with festive garlands, lights, music, and shows. There were few places in the world that celebrated the season like Walt Disney World….
![Construction of Disneyland Texas, probably! Photo by Philip Hawling [CC BY-SA 2.0] via www.geograph.org.uk; inset photo via DepositPhotos.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/disneyland-texas-under-construction-768x403.jpg)
It’ll be so easy to get to! FUTURE SITE OF DISNEYLAND TEXAS — Are you as excited as we are for the newly-relocated Disneyland in Texas? Uncle Walt’s Insider is thrilled to announce that ground has been broken, and construction has begun! And the new location is just where many predicted it would be. Your…
The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] “Dear (Step)Moms: What do you really think of the Food & Wine Tour? Sweet,…
![Ultimate cosmic power!!!! Still can't reopen Disneyland. Image background by Carlos Donderis [CC BY-NC-ND 2.0] via Flickr.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/disney-uber-alles-merger-768x403.jpg)
And they are currently negotiating with both major political parties. BURBANK, CA — In a stunning development, the Disney Company announced today that it will be purchasing Apple, Google, Microsoft and Amazon, and all of their subsidiary brands. Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) was ecstatic. “This is off the record, obviously,” she…
![The entrance arch to the newly-renamed "Orlando Magic Kingdom." Photo by Ivan Curra [CC BY-SA-3.0] via Wikimedia.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/new-orlando-magic-kingdom-entrance2-768x403.jpg)
Nothing like a sponsor to make up for lost profits. AMWAY CENTER, FL — Amid financial losses and decreased attendance, The Walt Disney Company has turned to corporate sponsorship to make up some of the shortfall. Corporate sponsorship, of course, is nothing new to Disney. However, for the first time ever, an entire park will…