Apparently the entire land is CGI. Just like the new Soarin’. BATUU, FL — Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge has not welcomed a single guest, but reports are already coming in that fans are not happy. A growing legion of Star Wars fans are boycotting this new land, and the reason may surprise you. “Blasphemy!” “Worse…
![Contraband. Photo [CC0] via publicdomainpictures.net.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/disney-ice-cube-ban-768x432.jpg)
The new rules ban loose ice. Probably also just-slightly-promiscuous ice. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL — Since Disney announced its coming ban on ice, the Internet has been filled with the wailing and gnashing of teeth. You can’t throw out an initial TCP SYN packet without hitting an ACK packet containing complaints about this ban. [Ed.:…
Pictured: a partial group of current Democrat presidential candidates. WASHINGTON, DC — Grumpy, Sneezy, and Doc want to be your President. So do their fellow dwarfs, along with Donald Duck’s nephews and many, many other well-known Disney characters. In fact, Federal Election Commission filings this week show that multiple characters have formed exploratory committees, and…
![The Disney Dream anchored at Epcot. Photo courtesy Depositphotos & Theme Park Tourist [CC BY 2.0] via Wikimedia Commons.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/disney-dream-world-showcase-lagoon-768x432.jpg)
“It’s like a multi-country cruise, without having to move the ship.” CELEBRATION, FL — Following the unparalleled success of its Bay Lake cruise itinerary, Disney Cruise Line announced Monday that it was adding Epcot’s World Showcase Lagoon to its growing list of destinations. “It’s a perfect itinerary for our cruisers,” says Disney (the company) spokesperson…
![Spelling counts, kids. Montage of photos by J. Rob McCullough [CC BY-NC-SA 2.0] via Flickr.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/dAPPer-days-disneyland-768x432.jpg)
Completely misread this one. ANAHEIM, CA — It’s safe to say your humble correspondent has never been so, well, humbled. I’ve not yet recovered from the embarrassment, but I feel it is my public duty to warn others: be sure you understand the event you are attending. Specifically, don’t misread “Dapper Days” as “Diaper Days.”…