It’s Super Puzzle Fun Time again! UNCLE WALT’S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD — Ah, the Touron™. A combination of “tourist” and “moron”, he (or she) is the “SG” in “SGT” — which stands for Stupid Guest Tricks, of course, so you do the math. A common question stupid guests ask at Disney’s Magic Kingdom is, “How…
“True Tales: from the files of Stupid Guest Tricks” is an ongoing series, where we share believable stories of park guests’ unbelievable stupidity. FROM STUPID GUEST TRICKS — StupidGuestTricks.com is a website founded to provide Disney Cast Members and other theme park employees a place to vent about some of the idiots they’ve dealt with….
![All hail Princess Billy. Now take him to the river. Photo by Cleveland Brown 1 [CC BY-SA 4.0] via Wikimedia Commons.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/disneys-newest-princess-768x432.jpg)
The Disney Empire annexes another entertainment giant. COPPELL, TX — He’s been hanging on walls and singing for 20 years. He’s probably the most well-known fish in the world after Jaws, Nemo, and Abe Vigoda. He’s Big Mouth Billy Bass. And now he’s a part of Disney’s world, as the entertainment giant has announced the buyout…
![Main Street Wind Turbine Parade, RIP. Photo by Dquai [CC BY-SA 4.0] via Wikimedia Commons and Pexels.com.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/disneys-main-street-wind-turbine-parade-768x432.jpg)
Disney insists the measure is only precautionary. ANAHEIM, CA — Showings of Disneyland’s beloved and environmentally friendly “Main Street Wind Turbine Parade” have been halted, at least temporarily, after statements by a public official suggested the floats’ wind turbines might cause cancer. “We’re sure they’re safe,” says Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation)….
Disney Parks’ new stroller policy has guests desperate to recoup their investment. EbAY H.Q., WHEREVER THAT IS [Note: have the intern look this up.] [Ed.: For the thousandth time, Marty, we do not have an intern. And it’s your week to empty the trash.] — As of next month, large strollers are no longer allowed in…