Uncle Walt's Insider coronavirus Archives - Page 8 of 22

Emperor Palpatine, before he died. We think. Photo © Lucasfilm.

Emperor Palpatine died of Covid-19

In spite of what you think you saw onscreen, he had Covid in his blood at time of death. BLACK SPIRE OUTPOST, BATUU -- A short statement released by the First Order confirms what many outlets have been reporting: Emperor Palpatine is dead from the coronavirus. The statement is below. The statement "The First Order sadly announces that our beloved Emperor Palpatine's passing was due to complications of Covid-19. "While it is true he engaged in a glorious battle with a talentless young girl, only to ...

(Step)Moms Panel: Where do you come down on the mask debate?

The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear (Step)Moms: Where do you come down on the whole mask debate?" - Anthony F., Washington DC Baby Yoda: Baby Yoda: Marty: Make up your mind. Baby Yoda: Walt: Hi Tony, thanks for asking. You have the right not to wear one, but a business has the right to ...

July 27, 2020 by Marty in step-planDisney

Now Mickey will cry over your dead body! Photo by Chad Sparkes [CC BY 2.0] via Flickr, modified.

QUESTION: Did Walt Disney World reopen to increase Magical Funerals® clients?

Would Disney exploit a health crisis to drum up business? WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- While many have questioned Walt Disney World's decision to reopen its theme parks during the pandemic, some are suggesting a more sinister motive. "They have a business built on death," said Cast Member Jordan from Davenport, FL our source, who asked to remain anonymous, referring to WDW's Magical Funerals® services. "I've been working with the Disney Magical Funerals® department for over a year. And you'd think that when the ...

July 24, 2020 by Marty in Florida

Madame Leota is pretty socially distanced inside a crystal ball. Is the mask really necessary? Photo by Cory Doctorow [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.

BREAKING: Haunted Mansion COVID overlay?

You can't tell if the grim ghosts are grinning behind their face masks. UNCLE WALT'S H.Q., SVALBARD -- With fans still reeling from the many changes to Disney parks, Uncle Walt's Insider has just learned of more to come. There are potential drastic changes to the Haunted Mansion attraction on their way, incorporating the COVID virus into the ride! Is nothing sacred? Won't someone think of the children? Our source We received an email from a faithful reader who wishes to remain anonymous. Well, we ...

July 22, 2020 by X in California, Florida

Two bucks for egg salad? Hope it's good! Photo by Khairoun Abji [CC BY-NC 2.0] via Flickr.

Pre-packaged sandwiches at EPCOT Food & Wine Festival

Also, instead of being sold in kiosks, they'll be in vending machines. EPCOT, FL -- Walt Disney World is welcoming guests once again, and that can only mean one thing: it's festival time at EPCOT! This year the International Food & Wine Festival starts early and Uncle Walt's Insider has obtained an exclusive look at the upcoming menus. And there's a special treat this year: for guest safety, all items are pre-packaged! Here's a look at some of the more appetizing offerings ...

July 21, 2020 by Walt in Florida