coronavirus Archives - Uncle Walt's Insider
Oh, yeah. There's also a giant mask on Cinderella Castle. Photo by Michael Gray [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.

BREAKING: Walt Disney World closed following Monkeypox outbreak

Wait, what did they put on Main Street USA??? WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- In stunning news, exclusive to Uncle Walt's Insider [Ed.: Actually, most of the articles we make up are exclusive to us], Walt Disney World has shut down entirely due to an outbreak of monkeypox. Details are sketchy at the moment, so instead of making stuff up like we usually do, we reached out to our favorite Disney spokesperson. Our favorite Disney spokesperson Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) was ... Read more

Tips for visiting the parks with COVID

Sure, you're sick, but that doesn't mean you should cancel your vacation! (Or does it?) Much of the world is realizing that the pandemic is effectively over, and we're entering into the endemic phase of COVID where we "just live with it." (Note: this doesn't apply to Texas, Florida, or an handful of other states that have been getting on with their lives for months now.) This means that, eventually, you may find yourself testing positive for Covid when you're about to set ... Read more
Okay, they say they've cancelled the plans to open a camp at Toowoomba. They "say". Image via clipartpanda.com & clipartion.com.

Australian quarantine camp renamed “Disneyland Down Under” to quell protests

We're already booking our plane tickets. TOOWOOMBA, AUSTRALIA -- The government of Australia has figured out how to counter the protests against their aggressive anti-Covid policies: marketing. "That's right," Down Under (the country nickname) spokesperson Jun Under (no relation) tells Uncle Walt's Insider. "When we rip someone out of their home and ship them to a 'camp' based on a health scare, for some reason a lot of folks didn't like it. I mean, not just the ones we're locking up, but other ... Read more
Any risk is totally worth the reduced-price Disney-branded adhesive bandage, right? Photo by freeimageslive.co.uk [CC BY 3.0].

Disney-branded Covid-19 vaccine approved for children

This isn't just another Disney cash grab, is it? Nah. BURBANK, CA - Disney has won FDA approval for its own branded Covid-19 vaccine, the company announced yesterday. The new vaccine will be marketed toward children under the age of 12, and also to adults who act like children under the age of 12. Initially, the company will target markets in Washington State, Oregon, California, and New York; that is, states where the government is willing to be authoritarian combined with a majority ... Read more
Seriously, what is the connection here? Photo © 2021 Disney; inset photo by Back9Network [CC BY 2.0] via Wikimedia Commons.

Flavor Flav named official Walt Disney World 50th Anniversary Ambassador

Personally, we don't get the connection. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- On the eve of the 50th Anniversary of the Walt Disney World Resort, Spa, & Gangsta Rap Hall of Fame, resort officials have announced that Flavor Flav, co-founder of rap pioneer group Public Enemy, will be an official Ambassador of the parks. Disney (the company) spokespizzle Jun Disney (no relation) had this say: "That's right, Flavor Flav is our official Ambassador. His signature look and style is copied on Cinderella Castle, ... Read more