The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.]
“Dear (Step) Moms: I’m bored at home. Do you have a favorite activity you do to pass the time while waiting for theme parks to reopen?” – Kelly P., Baton Rouge LA
Harriet:
Just don’t go to Walt Disney World. There are enough viruses there without you.
Walt:
Hi Kyle, thanks for asking.
How exciting that you’re going to time travel! I recommend visiting the parks in each year. Except for 1987. Do. Not. Ever. Ever, travel back to 1987.
Marty:
Dear Kimmy, hang on a second. I’m trying to distract Ub. I’m really scared of what he’d say if he answered this question honestly.
Baby Yoda:
Marty:
Exactly. Okay, what was the question? Ah, yes, how do we pass the time waiting for the theme parks to reopen.
Well, honestly, since Walt put me in charge of distracting Ub, I haven’t had much downtime. That’s a full-time assignment. I need to find something that will keep him occupied.
Hang on, got it. I’ll convince him he’s running for office somewhere. That should keep him busy, at least until November.
Ub:
Hello, Karina,
I’m a little bit hesitant to answer your question on the grounds that I might be incriminated. But, you know what? Here goes.
I just plain love to [REDACTED] with [REDACTED], especially in the afternoon. The ladies just love the resulting [REDACTED] and I’ve found that cucumber adds a nice [REDACTED]. Now put the whole thing in the [REDACTED] for about three hours, and there you have it! [REDACTED] that everyone is sure to love.
Hope that helps!
Marty:
Dang it.
Ub:
WAIT! I forgot something. [REDACTED], but you need to be careful that you get enough [REDACTED] or else the whole thing will just come out all red. So please, for the love of all that is holy, make sure you [REDACTED].
Baby Yoda:
Marty:
I agree. Even 50 years old, you’re way too young to have seen that.
Ub:
One last thing. Make sure you chop up the [REDACTED] after you’ve done everything else. It sounds strange, but it makes the whole process more interesting.
Wait. Did someone mention running for office? That’s a great idea!
X:
I’ve taken up woodworking. Although, I’ve started slowly. So slowly, in fact, that I haven’t made any progress, or even started any projects.
But I’ve watched a lot of YouTube videos on how to do it. (Well, until the ‘You may also like’ starts showing me React videos, and then I kind of go off on a tangent. Much like Ub’s answers.)
I can feel my skills improving already!
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