The Uncle Walt’s Insider step-planDisney (Step)Moms answer your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.]
“Dear step-planDisney (Step)Moms: I love your page! Disneyland is my happy place. I will turn 60 in three years and want to have dinner at Club 33. Is that totally impossible? Any suggestions? Thanks, Sonya/Cricket”
Walt:
Hi Charles, thanks for asking. The answer is no. NEXT!
Grogu:
Marty:
Hello, Jiminy!
Don’t let Walt’s negativity throw you. It’s actually quite easy to get a reservation at Club 33. Well, it’s easy if you’re a member. Are you a Club 33 member?
Okay, you’re not a member. (Duh, you wouldn’t have been asking us if you were.) Still, it’s not impossible — I’ve actually eaten at Club 33, and I couldn’t afford a membership there, not without forgoing every other meal for sixteen years. (And I haven’t lasted longer than sixteen hours without a meal.) All you need is to know a member who is willing to make you a reservation. Do you know a Club 33 member?
Hmm, this is getting tougher. No worries, though, because I don’t technically know a Club 33 member either, yet I have, as I said, dined there. (Did I mention that I’ve eaten at Club 33?) All it takes is that you know someone who knows someone who is a member, and who is willing to make a reservation for a complete stranger. This is more of a challenge, because members are on the hook for the cost of their guests who don’t show up, so the person you know should be persuasive, and the member should be very trusting and/or gullible. It’s a long shot, but hey, it worked for me. I’ve eaten at Club 33, you know. Do you know someone who knows someone who is a Club 33 member?
If not, I have good news and bad. The good news is that you do know someone who knows someone who knows someone who is a Club 33 member — me! The bad news is the answer is no. NEXT!
Grogu:
Walt:
Marty, did I ever tell you about the time I ate at Club 33?
Ub:
Hey there, Grasshopper. Welcome to the, uh… whatever we’re calling this service these days. I don’t know – I can’t keep up.
Eating at Club 33 is an amazing experience, and everyone of a certain caliber should dine there once. How any of us got in, I’ll never know. Right, we know someone. I don’t know what they told their someone about us, but I can tell you that they make a pretty good Old Fashioned. Or did I just ask for a Corona Light? I can’t remember.
If you can’t get into Club 33, the entrance is in a courtyard where you can set up a picnic using food ordered at Quick Service shops all around the park. That way, you can have whatever you like – for instance a churro and a Dole Whip. Yum!
Now, I haven’t heard that they are serving cricket in any of their dishes, but being a hip and trendy club, and being the most exclusive club in the Los Angeles area, I would not put it past them to add a cricket dish. You know, to stay trendy.
I would avoid it.
Finally, if you absolutely can’t get a reservation for the real Club 33, try a knock-off. Oriental Trading Company makes cheap knock-offs of everything Disney. Sometimes, Disney then buys those knock-off products to give to guests as free gifts. While it might be called Club 22 or Club EE, we can assure you that the food there will be nothing like the original, but your friends will never know. For the official knockoff, you’re looking for the Club 33 Club.
Hope that helps.
X:
Yes, I’ve dined at Club 33. No, I’m not a member, but I knew someone who knew someone who knew someone. Try the roasted filet of cow. It is exquisite.
And, even if you don’t drink (like Ub), try the Old Fashioned (like Ub). It’s the bees’ knees.
Oh? I don’t need to use old fashioned expressions when I’m describing an old fashioned? Well in that case…
Never mind. Just stick with bees’ knees.
Walt:
Bees have knees?
Harriet:
Just don’t go to Club 33. Do you really want to eat in a place that let Marty, Walt, Ub & X in?
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