Walt: “Hey, Marty, can you make a cover image for a story on Bob Chapek replacing Jesus without being too blasphemous?” Marty: “Can I finally get paid for doing this?” Walt: “Ha ha ha ha ha! No.” ORLANDO, FL– Disney has announced exciting plans to acquire and reopen the Holy Land Experience theme park! In an…
Uncle Walt’s Insider step-planDisney (Step)Moms answer your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] “Dear step-planDisney (Step)Moms: Will there be a crossover movie with Cars and Raya and the Lost…
Pictured: artist’s concept of the pirate-…ing. BATUU, OUTER RIM — Guests aboard the Halcyon starcruiser had a frightening experience recently in the Outer Rim Territories. A group of pirates, believed to be hiding out at Black Spire Outpost, boarded the starcruiser with blasters drawn and threatening guests and crew. The Halcyon, a Corellian MPO-1400 model…
By Groot’s Hammer, what a savings! ANAHEIM, CA — In a recent earnings call, Disney CEO and Grand Poobah Bob “Bob” Chapek had some big news that Disney fans are sure to love! While speaking about huge profits from the parks department, he said that big changes were in store – changes that guests should…
It’s like they’re milking a dead horse, or beating the cow they rode in on. Or something. BR’ER BANK, CA – You thought our previous list of Star Wars & Marvel spinoffs coming to Disney+ was complete? Nay, nay! Disney’s going to squeeze the blood from this turnip until the stars fall from the clowns….