Joe Rohde's Earring announces candidacy for President - Uncle Walt's Insider

Joe Rohde’s Earring announces candidacy for President

Mug shot of Joe Rohde's Earring. Photo by [CC BY-SA 3.0].

It’s already polling ahead of Elizabeth Warren.

GLENDALE, CA — Imagineer Joe Rohde is not running for President. But his earring is!

In a statement released yesterday, Joe Rohde’s Earring announced its candidacy as an Independent for the 2020 Presidential Election:

I believe my unique set of experiences in business, government, and philanthropy will enable me to win and lead.

As a candidate, I’ll rally a broad and diverse coalition of Americans to win. And as president, I have the skills to fix what is broken in our great nation. And there is a lot broken.

As a child and a Boy Scout, I was taught to believe in the promise and potential of America, and I have never been more worried about its future than I am today.

America is at its best when we work together to find meaningful and lasting solutions to the big challenges that we face.

We need a president who understands that truth – and who can do it, rather than just make promises.

I offer myself as a doer and a problem solver – not a talker. And as someone who is ready to take on the tough fights – and win.

Questions about qualifications

Some detractors are already raising questions about the Earring’s ability to qualify as a presidential candidate. They say that the Earring may not be a natural-born citizen (rumors of its alien origin have been covered here). They point out that its candidacy announcement (quoted above) was lifted verbatim from Mike Bloomberg’s.

And, oh yeah, they mention that it isn’t human. (Historically, 93 percent of all presidential candidates have been human, with only one non-human ever winning the popular vote. She lost in the electoral college, however.) These concerns will need to be addressed by the candidate.

Insiders in the JRE Campaign suggest that, while the Earring would normally run as a Democrat, that party’s candidate list is still too crowded.

Would you vote for Joe Rohde’s Earring? Let us know in the comments below!

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Cover photo: Official campaign photo of Joe Rohde’s Earring, courtesy Joe Rohde’s Earring for President 2020. Photo by [CC BY-SA 3.0].