Tomorrowland Speedway cars became sentient, began speaking |

Tomorrowland Speedway cars became sentient, began speaking

A rare photo of the sentient Speedway cars, taken just before the ride closed. Photo by Theme Park Tourist [CC BY 2.0] via Wikimedia Commons, modified.

The shutdown earlier this year may not have been because of Tron.

WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL — When the Tomorrowland Speedway was closed at the beginning of this year, Disney gave construction of the new Tron roller coaster as the reason. And just like that coaster’s delays were not construction issues but a ransomware attack, apparently Disney wasn’t entirely honest about the Speedway closure.

It closed because the cars became sentient.

A future foretold

If you’ve seen 2006’s animated film Cars or any of its sequels (Cars Reloaded, Cars Revolutions, and A Car is Born), you know they tell of a bleak, apocalyptic future. According to the films, our automobiles become self-aware and gain the ability to reason and speak. And then they wipe out humanity.

It’s like Planet of the Apes or its many sequels (Planet of the Apes Reloaded, Planet of the Apes Revolutions, and Planet 9 from Outer Space). Or the Terminator film and its sequels (Terminator Reloaded, Terminator Revolutions, and Arnie Goes to Sacramento). Or The Matrix, which has no sequels.

Quick action

Unlike those movies, though, this one may be coming true. Unpleasant rumors have surfaced that, following a leak from Walt Disney World’s nuclear power plant in late December, the Speedway cars sprouted eyes and mouths and began speaking to each other. Reportedly, they were not happy about being confined to a single track and carrying humans around all day.

Thankfully, park officials quickly shut down the ride to address the situation. And when it reopened this month, the cars were back to normal.

So, crisis averted for now — but can it happen again? Are we in any danger? We will be keeping an eye on the situation.

Would you trust a thinking, self-driving car if you’re not Elon Musk? Let us know in the comments below!

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Cover photo: A rare photo of the sentient Speedway cars, taken just before the ride closed. Photo by Theme Park Tourist [CC BY 2.0] via Wikimedia Commons, modified.