Presidential shenanigans galore.
MAGIC KINGDOM, FL — The Hall of Presidents has finally reopened, but not without some presidential drama.
Crowds are returning to the attraction now, with approximately two people waiting to be the first to visit the newly reopened Hall of Presidents. While the Hall was originally scheduled to reopen earlier this year, a few setbacks delayed the opening.
Speaking on the condition of anonymity, Imagineer Joey Stallone shared details of the setbacks with Uncle Walt’s.
We’ll never tell who you are, Joey
Stallone The anonymous Imagineer reports: “The first setback came when we went in to move President Trump to a different row. He first refused to move, saying that the Biden animatronic was no where to be seen, and he wasn’t even sure it existed. Trump finally moved after George Washington stepped in and talked with him.
“Meanwhile, back at Imagineering HQ, the boys putting together the Biden animatronic had a heck of a time. It couldn’t read its lines. It would go off on tangents. Poor Carol kept getting sniffed by the darn thing. And then Bob from programming made the mistake of bringing his kid to work one day, I won’t go into details, but let’s just say that there’s lots of therapy ahead for that kid.
“We finally find a guy who does impersonations to actually record Biden’s lines. But when we go in to install Biden, and President Trump is back in the front. We moved him back. By this time it was lunch, so we went over to Universal Citywalk to grab lunch – man, that place has some great options. When we get back, President Trump is back in the front again! We move him to his new spot, and finally get to install Biden. By this time it’s past our union work hours, and time to head home. I usually get in the door at 4:15, that day it was 4:20, and my wife was not happy.”
We bet the mop held up its part of the conversation better
Not-Joey Stallone continues: “The next morning we arrive, and Biden is in a corner talking to a mop, President Trump is BACK in the center. Worse, he’s going off on how he’s going to make the Hall of Presidents the greatest hall that’s ever been in the history of halls. Since we’ve done this a few times now, we get President Trump back to his spot, lure Biden back with a wig off of one of the spare Redhead animatronics from Pirates, get him situated and by this time, it’s lunch again.
“After lunch, all is well, everyone is in their place, except President Trump has his back to everyone, and Biden just looks confused. We reset the whole system, turn President Trump around, and then we hear this cackle like laugh. We look behind a curtain, and the Kamala Harris animatronic from the Hall of Vice Presidents is standing there like she is ready to take center stage. We get her back to the HoVP, finish up with President Trump and Biden and call it a day.
So is it over yet?
“But it’s not over yet! The NEXT day, we come in and everyone is in their place, facing the same way. Yay! So we bring in a bunch of Cast Members to preview the HoP, it starts off great, until Biden just starts berating the Cast Members in the audience, he’s shouting ‘Come on, man!’ and ‘You lying dog-faced pony soldier’ to everyone. President Trump is in the back bent over laughing, and even Jimmy Carter was seen chuckling a few times.
“We threaten to tear the whole thing out and turn it into some cheap attraction based on intellectual property, and finally everyone agrees to behave. After a few run throughs, we declared it ready for guests, and here we are, ready to re-open the doors!”
The first two guests appeared to enjoy the show. As usual, attendance in the Hall of Presidents is expected to increase during the day as the temperature rises.
Wow! It sure sounds made up! What do you think? Let us know in the comments below!
Cover photo: Not pictured: the mop. Photo by Kjersti Holmang [CC BY-SA 4.0] via Wikipedia.