Uncle Walt's Insider Walt, Author at Uncle Walt's Insider

Two bucks for egg salad? Hope it's good! Photo by Khairoun Abji [CC BY-NC 2.0] via Flickr.

Pre-packaged sandwiches at EPCOT Food & Wine Festival

Also, instead of being sold in kiosks, they'll be in vending machines. EPCOT, FL -- Walt Disney World is welcoming guests once again, and that can only mean one thing: it's festival time at EPCOT! This year the International Food & Wine Festival starts early and Uncle Walt's Insider has obtained an exclusive look at the upcoming menus. And there's a special treat this year: for guest safety, all items are pre-packaged! Here's a look at some of the more appetizing offerings ...

Dreamfinder and Figment infected? No surprise -- they aren't ever socially distanced from each other! Photo by Loren Javier [CC BY-NC-ND 2.0] via Flickr.

Dreamfinder and Figment in quarantine due to Covid-19

They're normally inseparable, so we imagine (get it?) quarantine together won't be too difficult. EPCOT, FL -- As the parks prepare to re-open, Disney has started to share what attractions, restaurants, and characters will be available. But notably missing from this list is Dreamfinder and Figment! Uncle Walt's Insider reached out to our favorite Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) for details. Innooooculation, innooooculation... "Sadly, yes, Dreamfinder and Figment will not be available. While HIPPA prevents us from discussing the details, I'll tell ...

July 17, 2020 by Walt in Florida

Not suitable to be worn at Walt Disney World. At least not as a mask. Photo [CC0] via Pixabay.

Disney: Gators are not acceptable face masks

We tried wearing a gator as a face mask. It wasn't comfortable. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- Disney officials are hard at work learning about potential guest behavior during their phased re-opening of the parks. Based on their observations, Disney has modified their face mask policy, banning the wearing of gators as face masks. This is news you will only read at Uncle Walt's Insider. Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) shared the following: Follow the bouncing virus "During this phased re-opening, we ...

July 15, 2020 by Walt in Florida

The Great Proletarian Cultural Revolution is on the warpath. Wait, can we say 'warpath'? Photo Public Domain.

Walt Disney canceled? Name to be removed from parks and movies worldwide

We kind of figured this would have to happen eventually. BURBANK, CA -- Officials at the Company announced today that they are erasing 's name from films, theme parks, and products world-wide. (the company) spokesperson Jun (no relation) shared the reasoning. " was a backwards thinker. And he had a major part in creating things that can never see the light of day again, including Song of the South, Nazi-loving Donald Duck, and cream cheese-filled pretzels. Because of this, ...

July 10, 2020 by Walt in California, Florida, World

Vandals paint Cinderella Castle a hideous pink color. Photo by Laughing Place via Twitter.

Cinderella Castle vandalized, painted pink

Just one more thing to clean up after the Main Street Autonomous Zone. MAGIC KINGDOM, FL -- Disney officials are scrambling after discovering Cinderella Castle was painted pink at some point during the shutdown. Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) spoke with our reporter. "Since we've all been working at home, including our maintenance teams, no one has been seen the castle since March!" Prep for reopening Disney (no relation) continued, "The Bobs told the parks they should probably get ready for ...

July 7, 2020 by Walt in Florida