Serious. Like, nobody. Cast members, shoppers, looters. We weren’t even there. DISNEY SPRINGS, FL — Disney Springs announced their reopening in May, and the Internet nearly shutdown in excitement. Most assumed that the Walt Disney World shopping district (so called because you can’t buy stuff anywhere else on WDW property) would be packed. Well, May…
![I'll never let go, Jack. Er, I mean Mickey. Photo [CC0] via Pxfuel & clipart-library.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/disney-magic-to-be-scuttled-768x403.jpg)
Why don’t they ever sink ships to create natural reefs? PORT CANAVERAL, FL — The Disney Magic is the latest victim of the Covid-19 shutdown. Disney Cruise Line announced today that the Magic, the first cruise ship in the Disney fleet, will be sunk and turned into an artificial reef. With the high cost of maintaining the ship during…
![What exactly are the mask's ear loops holding on to? Photo by Kjaergaard [CC BY-SA 3.0] via Wikimedia.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/shamu-wearing-proper-face-protection-768x432.jpg)
What exactly are Shamu’s mask’s ear loops holding on to? ORLANDO, FL — Looks like SeaWorld’s animals will get to swim around some more. Our taste buds’ loss is their gain. Interim SeaWorld CEO Marc Swanson (of Swanson TV dinners fame) presented their plans to the May 27th Orange County Economic Recovery Task Force (M27OCERTF,…
![This will keep the Castle from being infected with guests. Photo by Michael Gray [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/cinderella-castle-covid-protection-768x432.jpg)
2025? Sounds like they’re rushing into this. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL — Disney announced plans for the reopening of Walt Disney World at the May 27th Orange County Economic Recovery Task Force (“M27OCERTF”). A “phased reopening” of the parks will begin in just over five years! Jim McPhee (brother to Nanny McPhee), Senior Vice President…
![If you see any viruses there, report them to the nearest Cast Member. Photo by Thomas photography [CC BY-SA 4.0] via Wikimedia.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/disney-springs-sign-768x432.jpg)
Practical advice for inserting yourself among other diseased Disney guests DISNEY SPRINGS, FL — Disney Springs has reopened, without much coverage and fanfare. A few guests popped in to see if there were any sales, and to enjoy a churro. Many folks seem to be hesitant, though, waiting to see what happens after the reopening….