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Space-going Tesla Roadster with Starman. Public Domain.

Starman disappointed: “I was promised a trip to Disney World”

"There are no churros in space." OUTSIDE MARS ORBIT -- In a remote (duh) interview with Uncle Walt's Insider, Tesla Roadster pilot "Starman" claims that he was promised a trip to the Walt Disney World Resort for taking part in the SpaceX launch. In the more than six months since the Falcon Heavy rocket launched the red Tesla Roadster into space, Starman has traveled over 143 million miles (and exceeded the Roadster's warranty 7,500 times over). He's gone farther from Earth than any ... Read more
Monsters Inc. Laugh Floor at the Magic Kingdom Park. Photo by Michael Gray [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.

Monsters Inc. Laugh Floor to offer late-night adults-only shows

"Now it won't just be the monsters that are blue." WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- It's an attraction that even the most generous Disney fans say has grown stale. But now Monsters Inc. Laugh Floor is getting "refreshed" with the addition of late-night shows filled with adult-oriented humor. "There's only so many times the average guest can tolerate Buddy Boil and his awful puns," Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) tells Uncle Walt's Insider. "So we're changing things up. Now Monsters ... Read more
Disney Skyliner artist's conception. (c) 2017 Disney.

Skyliner cars to include gift shops

Instead of 'exit through the gift shop,' guests will 'travel in the gift shop.' WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- New details have emerged about the Skyliner gondola system under construction at the Walt Disney World Resort in Florida. Apparently each gondola car will have its own gift store, so Disney guests can shop as they travel. Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) tells Uncle Walt's Insider the concept behind the news. "The Walt Disney Company is dedicated to providing magical experiences for ... Read more
St. Louis adds a second arch, sponsored by McDonald's. Photo by AfricanGeo [CC BY-SA 3.0] via Wikimedia Commons, modified.

Corporate sponsorship enables second Gateway Arch

McDonald's selfless gift to the city of St. Louis also includes coloring both arches gold. ST. LOUIS, MO -- The Gateway Arch has stood for over fifty years on the banks of the Mississippi River. And now, thanks to a generous gift from the McDonald's Corporation, it will have a twin. "As the original arch celebrates the western expansion of the United States," McDonald's spokesperson Jeremy Burger (no relation) tells Uncle Walt's Insider, "so the new arch celebrates the expansion of America's economy ... Read more
A churro cart at Disney's California Adventure. Photo copyright 2018 Google / Street View.

Man using Street View billed for ‘virtual park admission’

Disney hails "virtual guests" as new revenue stream. PROVO, UT -- It's a fact of modern life that every one of us clicks to accept Terms of Service without reading or understanding what we are agreeing to. One Utah man found out the hard way that he should always read the fine print. The next best thing to being there? Edgar "Sonny" Larson of Provo, UT, recently had some time to kill, so he opened up Google Maps on his computer. As a Disney ... Read more