“Ask Uncle Walt” is a regular feature of Uncle Walt’s Insider: you ask, Uncle Walt answers!
Today’s question: “Hey Walt, why is Disney blocking Uncle Walt’s Insider on its WiFi?”
Submitted by Skip G., Pensacola, FL
Thanks for writing in and asking this really important question. I’ll be honest, I had no idea that WiFi referred to wireless networking. I thought it meant Water In Fuel Indicator. I had to disguise myself and go into the nearest Starbucks to find out what you were talking about. I went to the owner of the first man bun I saw and asked him. Turns out, it was a girl. I knew she would know the answer. All of the hipster kids know this stuff. Turns out, if the WiFi is down, they are unable to communicate with each other! She got really offended when I asked if all of the jewelry coming out of her face interfered or helped with the WiFi signal. She said some very R-rated words to me and stomped off.
With my new-found information, I headed into the Magic Kingdom. After stopping for a churro, I found a bench and started testing. Boy am I glad I discovered this new WiFi. Turns out, Disney invented it! It sure beats running the phone cord across the parks like I used to have to do when I needed to communicate with the home office! I can’t wait to tell the guys about this! There are days when our office looks like we’re training to steal the top secret recipe for churros! Marty got clothes-lined seven times! And Ub actually used the phone cords as a clothes line!
Anyway, Skip, to answer your question, I have no idea. If I had to speculate, and I will, I would say that Disney knows that UWI is the best place for reliable, accurate, and trustworthy news on all things Disney. They know that readers like you [Ed.: And the other two] prefer to visit our site instead of being directed to the ad-filled, browser lagging, mis-informed thing they call a website. Mom’s Panel! Pfft! Did you know that not all of them are moms?!? Can you really trust that? No, you can’t. Bottom line, we’re a threat. And when you control the message and the means to get the message, you can pretty much do whatever you want. Heck, X actually thinks he gets paid. He only checks his bank account from the office, and guess who controls the computer!
Seriously, guess who controls the computer. We have no idea and need help!
Let us know in the comments below!