Theme parks in summer: tips for beating the heat | Uncle Walt's Insider

Theme parks in summer: tips for beating the heat

Summer heat.

Forget hi-tech towels and misting fans — Uncle Walt’s Insider tells you the best ways to stay cool.

UNCLE WALT’S HQ — As we approach the summer months, theme park visitors will soon be dealing with high temperatures (except at Universal Studios Idaho, of course). Although many travel sites provide tips for staying cool, Uncle Walt’s brave correspondents aren’t afraid to think outside the box when it comes to heat-busting ideas. [Ed.: Some aren’t even aware there is a box, Ub.Here are some tried and true tips for beating the heat as you tour the parks:

Nudity

Hey, we never said these were great tips. But one of our regular writers, who shall go unnamed [Ed.: It’s Ub.], swears by this method. This tip, however, is not for everyone — be sure you do not have any mobility issues, as you will likely be running from security most of the day. Also, this tip works best for those who can afford plenty of sunscreen. And bail.

High-speed coasters

The faster rides provide a wonderful cooling breeze as you zip up and down the tracks, so get on your favorite roller coaster and ride to cool down.

Problems can arise, though, when you have to wait in long lines just to ride, and then it’s over in a few minutes. Solution? Don’t get off! Just park yourself in the coaster car, pull the restraint back down as soon as it’s released, and keep riding over and over!

This is another one where you might want to have bail money handy.

Ice cream

Sure, it’s easy for some travel sites to suggest eating ice cream, but none but Uncle Walt’s will give the best tip: wearing ice cream! You’ll be amazed at the cooling power of putting a Mickey Bar down your pants every few hours.

Churros

This is for eating, not for putting down your pants. That’s just weird, why did you even think that?

But warm snack on a hot day? You might will ask that for any other snack, but churros are magical. There is never a wrong time for a churro! That warm cinnamon-y goodness will make you forget all your troubles, up to and including heat stroke.

Swimming

Too obvious, you say? Sure, lots of folks recommend taking a swim break during the day, but remember, these are tips for keeping cool in the parks. Since when do you find swimming pools in the parks?

But if you’re creative, there are plenty of places you can take a quick, cooling dip while you enjoy the parks — fountains, water features on attractions, rivers…. Wherever there’s water, there’s an opportunity for you to cool off! Just “overlook” those “Keep Out” signs and ignore the cast members yelling at you to get out, and you can keep cool all day!

Before you dive in, though, just be sure Ub isn’t already swimming there. [Ed.: Naked.]

Have you also skinny-dipped in the Rivers of America? Let us know in the comments below!

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