In spite of what you think you saw onscreen, he had Covid in his blood at time of death. BLACK SPIRE OUTPOST, BATUU — A short statement released by the First Order confirms what many outlets have been reporting: Emperor Palpatine is dead from the coronavirus. The statement is below. The statement “The First Order sadly…
The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] “Dear (Step)Moms: Where do you come down on the whole mask debate?” – Anthony…
The President vowed to get right on this. EPCOT, FL — Walt Disney World guests, already reeling from so many changes, found a new disturbance at EPCOT’s World Showcase. The America Pavilion’s normal patriotic music, backed by the incredibly talented Voices of Liberty, has been replaced by the sounds of mariachi. Tensions were already running…
![Now Mickey will cry over your dead body! Photo by Chad Sparkes [CC BY 2.0] via Flickr, modified.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/disneys-magical-funerals-768x403.jpg)
Would Disney exploit a health crisis to drum up business? WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL — While many have questioned Walt Disney World’s decision to reopen its theme parks during the pandemic, some are suggesting a more sinister motive. “They have a business built on death,” said Cast Member Jordan from Davenport, FL our source, who…
![Madame Leota is pretty socially distanced inside a crystal ball. Is the mask really necessary? Photo by Cory Doctorow [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/haunted-mansion-covid-overlay-768x403.jpg)
You can’t tell if the grim ghosts are grinning behind their face masks. UNCLE WALT’S H.Q., SVALBARD — With fans still reeling from the many changes to Disney parks, Uncle Walt’s Insider has just learned of more to come. There are potential drastic changes to the Haunted Mansion attraction on their way, incorporating the COVID…