Uncle Walt's Insider stupidity Archives

Steak, probably from a cow. Probably. Photo by with wind [CC BY-NC 2.0] via Flickr.

To rehab its image, Disney publicly embraces cannibalism

This stance is "just as likely to be popular as the last one!" BR'ER BANK, CA -- The Disney Company has taken a beating recently over its political stances. Once the most trusted name in family entertainment, a recent poll shows that level of trust down to 54% overall. With some subgroups, the trust in Disney's programming is as low as 23%. "Our leaders are a bit confused," says Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation). "All we did was push back hard ...

Vandals paint Cinderella Castle a hideous pink color. Photo by Laughing Place via Twitter.

BREAKING: Walt Disney World to leave Florida

Rumor is they're heading for New York City, where they can say "gay." WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- The Walt Disney World Resort and Spa and Alternative Lifestyle Grooming Center announced today that it is packing up and moving out of Florida. "It's obvious that our values don't align with those of the state any more," said CEO Bob "Bob" Chapek. "I mean, they have a law now that says teachers can't discuss sexuality with 5- to 8-year-olds without parental consent! Who wants ...

April 6, 2022 by Marty in California, Florida

The five second rule does NOT apply to churros! Photo composite by Marty, as is the "comment below" question.

Man throws away entire churro at Animal Kingdom; riot breaks out

Rest in peace, poor churro, we hardly knew ye. HARAMBE, FL -- A riot broke out in the Africa section of Disney's Animal Kingdom after a man was spotted throwing away an entire churro. Our very own Uncle Walt witnessed this atrocity first hand. "I was taking note of a bit of paint chipped off the top of one of the buildings so I could file a complaint with Guest Relations about the state of the park," Uncle Walt told himself so ...

March 27, 2022 by Walt in Florida

(Step)Moms Panel: A cure for stupidity in our lifetime?

The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear (Step)Moms: Will we see a cure for stupidity in our lifetime?" - Timothy H., Hot Springs, AR Walt: Hi Tommy, thanks for asking. How exciting you want to cure stupidity! It’s a noble cause, however I think it’ll only happen if a giant ...

August 17, 2020 by Marty in step-planDisney

Uncle Walt’s Insider Food Blog: “Authentic” Churro

How does a churro from a Mexican restaurant stand up to those found at the Disney parks? Droopy. ROCHESTER, WA -- When you can't visit the parks because you're stuck at home in the age of social distancing, an authentic Churro will have to do. You, like us, have come to adore the churros at Walt Disney World and Disneyland. That crispy, slightly chewy, cinnamon-y treat with which some would say that the majority, or perhaps all of, our staff have become... what's ...

May 8, 2020 by Ub in Spotlight, Uncle Walt's Food Blog