The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.]
“Dear (Step)Moms: Will we see a cure for stupidity in our lifetime?” – Timothy H., Hot Springs, AR
Hi Tommy, thanks for asking.
How exciting you want to cure stupidity! It’s a noble cause, however I think it’ll only happen if a giant asteroid destroys the planet. And then it’s not a guarantee.
Dear Tammy, how wonderful that you are interested in attracting giant asteroids to our planet. Unfortunately, that is a project that Uncle Walt’s staff is officially not working on at this time, at least as far as I can say publicly.
You might better focus your efforts on attracting smaller asteroids or large meteorites to a specific area where stupidity is concentrated, like in (readers, feel free to insert your own state or nation’s capital here).
Just don’t go to Walt Disney World. There are already enough people there without you.
Hi Timmy. How’s life in Hot Springs? Warm enough for you?
I’m not so sure about this plan to attract asteroids to Earth. I mean, if they get close enough, then Will Smith or Bruce Willis or someone will just come along and destroy the asteroid. All your hard work will be wasted.
<is off scanning the sky for asteroids.>
Do you have a question for the Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel? Click here to submit a question.