results Archives - Uncle Walt's Insider
Joe can relax, but the earring will still be hard at work. Photo by alchetron.com [CC BY-SA 3.0].

Joe Rohde retires; Joe Rohde’s Earring to continue working

We suspect it was the source of all of the good ideas anyway. GLENDALE CA -- Good news from Disney Imagineering headquarters! Although legendary Imagineer Joe Rohde will be retiring effective January 4 of next year, his famed earring will continue working for the foreseeable future. The earring, which unsuccessfully ran for president earlier this year (and which may be an alien), made the announcement on its official Twitter account. No announcement has been made as to how the earring intends to get to ... Read more
Dreamfinder and Figment infected? No surprise -- they aren't ever socially distanced from each other! Photo by Loren Javier [CC BY-NC-ND 2.0] via Flickr.

Dreamfinder and Figment in quarantine due to Covid-19

They're normally inseparable, so we imagine (get it?) quarantine together won't be too difficult. EPCOT, FL -- As the parks prepare to re-open, Disney has started to share what attractions, restaurants, and characters will be available. But notably missing from this list is Dreamfinder and Figment! Uncle Walt's Insider reached out to our favorite Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) for details. Innooooculation, innooooculation... "Sadly, yes, Dreamfinder and Figment will not be available. While HIPPA prevents us from discussing the details, I'll tell ... Read more
Former official campaign photo of Joe Rohde’s Earring, courtesy Joe Rohde’s Earring for President 2020. Photo by alchetron.com [CC BY-SA 3.0].

Joe Rohde’s Earring suspends campaign, does not endorse anyone

It's a bold strategy, Cotton. Let's see if it pays off for them. BURBANK, CA -- Joe Rohde's Earring yesterday is suspending its campaign for the presidency. The brief press release issued yesterday gave three reasons for the decision. The campaign just never gained traction, due to "the quarantine preventing campaign events," "difficulty in fundraising," and the fact that "as an earring [it] is not Constitutionally eligible for the office." Because the campaign is only suspended, Joe Rohde's Earring could re-enter the race ... Read more
New official campaign photo of Joe Rohde’s Earring, courtesy Joe Rohde’s Earring for President 2020. Photo by alchetron.com [CC BY-SA 3.0].

Joe Rohde’s Earring exposed to Covid-19, in quarantine

The Earring has to keep six feet away from Joe Rohde. BURBANK, CA -- Joe Rohde's Earring may have been exposed to a person infected with the coronavirus. The famed Imagineer fashion accessory and presidential candidate is in quarantine, and must keep at least six feet from Joe Rohde. Fortunately, Rohde's earlobe can be stretched to seven feet, so he does not have to detach the earring. The Earring has canceled all campaign appearances for the foreseeable future. No explanation was given as ... Read more
Official campaign photo of Joe Rohde’s Earring, courtesy Joe Rohde’s Earring for President 2020. Photo by alchetron.com [CC BY-SA 3.0].

Joe Rohde’s Earring campaign falters in NH after Iowa accusations

Sources say the Earring helped design the Iowa Caucus app. CONCORD, NH -- After a strong showing in last week's Iowa caucuses, Joe Rohde's Earring only finished second in yesterday's New Hampshire primary. The dangly presidential candidate finished with 18% of the vote, trailing Democratic front-runner Cory Booker. The stumble came as news of a potential scandal broke. Allegations have surfaced accusing the Earring of having a hand (so to speak) in the creation of the disastrous Iowa Caucus app. Uncle Walt's Insider ... Read more