orlando Archives - Page 4 of 11 - Uncle Walt's Insider
New signage for the Express Sidewalk to the Magic Kingdom. Photo by M. Minderhoud [CC BY-SA 3.0] via Wikimedia.

Walt Disney World replacing Monorails with “elevated sidewalks”

No handrails planned for now; Disney plans to "wait and see if they're needed." WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- It's no secret that the Walt Disney World Monorail system is in dire need of an upgrade. However, with the Covid-19 closures, Disney's ability to spend money on projects has greatly declined. Many projects have been delayed or modified to match projected budgets. One such project is the replacement of the Monorail fleet. Popular but pricey The Monorail transportation system, while popular, is expensive for ... Read more
UWI (Step)Moms Panel

(Step)Moms Panel: What do you think of all the theme parks leaving California?

The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear (Step)Moms: What do you think of all the theme parks leaving California? How do I we they stop them from leaving?" - Gavin N., Sacramento CA Walt: Hi Glen, thanks for asking. I once made the mistake of letting Harriet borrow my car. ... Read more
This proves that SeaWorld is now in Texas. Photo by Tristanb [CC BY-SA-3.0] via Wikimedia.

BREAKING: SeaWorld relocates to San Antonio

Shamu is in Texas! Who knew? SAN ANTONIO, TX -- Uncle Walt's Insider has some breaking news that you will ONLY find here! Sometime during the Covid-19 shutdown, SeaWorld San Diego packed up and moved the entire operation to San Antonio, TX! The park is the latest to flee California for more normal states, after Disneyland and Knott's Berry Farm announced moves earlier this week. Our very own Uncle Walt discovered this move while visiting San Antonio. Not a copy, but close "It's not ... Read more
Emperor Palpatine, before he died. We think. Photo © Lucasfilm.

Emperor Palpatine died of Covid-19

In spite of what you think you saw onscreen, he had Covid in his blood at time of death. BLACK SPIRE OUTPOST, BATUU -- A short statement released by the First Order confirms what many outlets have been reporting: Emperor Palpatine is dead from the coronavirus. The statement is below. The statement "The First Order sadly announces that our beloved Emperor Palpatine's passing was due to complications of Covid-19. "While it is true he engaged in a glorious battle with a talentless young girl, only to ... Read more
Now Mickey will cry over your dead body! Photo by Chad Sparkes [CC BY 2.0] via Flickr, modified.

QUESTION: Did Walt Disney World reopen to increase Magical Funerals® clients?

Would Disney exploit a health crisis to drum up business? WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- While many have questioned Walt Disney World's decision to reopen its theme parks during the pandemic, some are suggesting a more sinister motive. "They have a business built on death," said Cast Member Jordan from Davenport, FL our source, who asked to remain anonymous, referring to WDW's Magical Funerals® services. "I've been working with the Disney Magical Funerals® department for over a year. And you'd think that when the ... Read more