This article brought to you by Disney+, unless you pay us. GLENDALE-ISH, CA — Disney CEO Bob “Bob” Chapek is continuing his practice of adding charges to things that used to be free! During a recent earnings call, Chapek announced that streaming service Disney+ will be adding advertisements, but that an ad-free experience would still…
![Oh, yeah. There's also a giant mask on Cinderella Castle. Photo by Michael Gray [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/cinderella-castle-covid-protection1-768x403.jpg)
Wait, what did they put on Main Street USA??? WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL — In stunning news, exclusive to Uncle Walt’s Insider [Ed.: Actually, most of the articles we make up are exclusive to us], Walt Disney World has shut down entirely due to an outbreak of monkeypox. Details are sketchy at the moment, so…
Walt: “Hey, Marty, can you make a cover image for a story on Bob Chapek replacing Jesus without being too blasphemous?” Marty: “Can I finally get paid for doing this?” Walt: “Ha ha ha ha ha! No.” ORLANDO, FL– Disney has announced exciting plans to acquire and reopen the Holy Land Experience theme park! In an…
Uncle Walt’s Insider step-planDisney (Step)Moms answer your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] “Dear step-planDisney (Step)Moms: Will there be a crossover movie with Cars and Raya and the Lost…
Pictured: artist’s concept of the pirate-…ing. BATUU, OUTER RIM — Guests aboard the Halcyon starcruiser had a frightening experience recently in the Outer Rim Territories. A group of pirates, believed to be hiding out at Black Spire Outpost, boarded the starcruiser with blasters drawn and threatening guests and crew. The Halcyon, a Corellian MPO-1400 model…