Rumor is they’re heading for New York City, where they can say “gay.” WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL — The Walt Disney World Resort and Spa and Alternative Lifestyle Grooming Center announced today that it is packing up and moving out of Florida. “It’s obvious that our values don’t align with those of the state any…
Pictured above: guests in the foliage. DISNEY’S HOLLYWOOD STUDIOS, FL — During a recent visit to the Walt Disney World Resort and Spa and Savings Vacuum, our own Uncle Walt experienced incredibly long attraction Stand-By queues — so long that the lines stretched off the paths and into the landscaping! Because of the recent cash-grab…
Our little-known facts series continues, in spite of underwhelming demand! It’s a hotel! It’s a spaceship! It’s a hotel! No, it’s a spaceship! Settle down, there’s no need to argue. It’s a hotel and a (pretend) spaceship! And whatever you think of Walt Disney World’s new Star Wars: Galactic Starcruiser, we can all agree on one thing:…
Rest in peace, poor churro, we hardly knew ye. HARAMBE, FL — A riot broke out in the Africa section of Disney’s Animal Kingdom after a man was spotted throwing away an entire churro. Our very own Uncle Walt witnessed this atrocity first hand. “I was taking note of a bit of paint chipped off…
The Uncle Walt’s Insider step-planDisney (Step)Moms answer your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] “Dear step-planDisney (Step)Moms: Are you going to stay at Disney’s new Star Wars: Galactic Starcruiser?”…