The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] “Dear (Step)Moms: What has surprised you most about Disneyland since it has reopened? (I…
Feet: the original “people mover.” MAGIC KINGDOM, FL — Just in time for the amazing summer weather in Florida, officials at Walt Disney World have re-opened the Tomorrowland Transit Authority Peoplemover — after the installation of sidewalks. Disney (the company) spokesthey [Ed.: What?] Jun Disney (no relation) spoke with our imbedded reporters [Ed.: What exactly…
Our reporter is on the scene! But so far, no one else. DISNEYLAND, CA — Disneyland has reopened, but apparently no one cares. Your reporter has been on the scene in the Disneyland Plaza for a few hours, but apart from a handful of people meandering towards Downtown Disney, I’m it. I really expected happy,…
![Electrical lines soon to carry Walt-generated power! Photo [CC0] via Picryl.com.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/electrical-lines-soon-to-carry-disney-generated-power-768x403.jpg)
Tattoos? Piercings? Guys wearing nail polish? Whirr, whirr, whirr, whirr, whirrrrrr… ANAHEIM, CA — No more blackouts for the California power grid — the problem of an insufficient electrical supply has been solved, perhaps permanently! “Our Imagineers — smart people — they’ve theorized this was possible for quite a while,” said Disney (the company) spokesperson…
![A rare photo of the sentient Speedway cars, taken just before the ride closed. Photo by Theme Park Tourist [CC BY 2.0] via Wikimedia Commons, modified.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/tomorrowland-speedway-cars-became-sentient-e1618499720196-768x403.jpg)
Could you program in a different destination? GLENDALE, CA — Are the cars in Disneyland’s Autopia and the Magic Kingdom’s Tomorrowland Speedway being replaced with self-driving Teslas? That what some are saying, including our own headline. An anonymous Disney insider who recently left the company [Ed.: Hi, Joe!] has leaked a document detailing a new…