Uncle Walt's Insider Disneyland Archives - Page 12 of 77

(Step)Moms Panel: Surprises from the reopened Disneyland

The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear (Step)Moms: What has surprised you most about Disneyland since it has reopened? (I assume you've already been there several times.)" - Deena Wilson, Bend OR Marty: Disneyland has reopened? Yeah, right. I've been fooled before. You're not getting me with that line ...

TTA converts to pedestrian-only attraction. Photo by Uncle Walt, used without permission.

Sidewalks replace Peoplemover vehicles at Magic Kingdom

Feet: the original "people mover." MAGIC KINGDOM, FL -- Just in time for the amazing summer weather in Florida, officials at Walt Disney World have re-opened the Tomorrowland Transit Authority Peoplemover -- after the installation of sidewalks. Disney (the company) spokesthey [Ed.: What?] Jun Disney (no relation) spoke with our imbedded reporters [Ed.: What exactly are they imbedded in? And is it toxic?], exclaiming, "After a lengthy downtime of over one year, the future of transportation is here!" "Futuristic" "The new TTA Peoplemover is going ...

May 2, 2021 by Walt in Florida

No one at Disneyl... Hang on, we publish this at 6 am Pacific Time, well before the park opens. And why would there be sunlight? Photo via Twitter.

Disneyland reopens, no one comes

Our reporter is on the scene! But so far, no one else. DISNEYLAND, CA -- Disneyland has reopened, but apparently no one cares. Your reporter has been on the scene in the Disneyland Plaza for a few hours, but apart from a handful of people meandering towards Downtown Disney, I'm it. I really expected happy, smiling (well, maybe smiling; they'd have masks on) throngs of families lining up to be the first in to a newly-reopened Disneyland. But not only are there no ...

April 29, 2021 by Marty in California

Electrical lines soon to carry Walt-generated power! Photo [CC0] via Picryl.com.

Problem solved: all California to be powered by Walt Disney spinning in his grave

Tattoos? Piercings? Guys wearing nail polish? Whirr, whirr, whirr, whirr, whirrrrrr... ANAHEIM, CA -- No more blackouts for the California power grid -- the problem of an insufficient electrical supply has been solved, perhaps permanently! "Our Imagineers -- smart people -- they've theorized this was possible for quite a while," said Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation). "Just hook up a generator in the vault where we have Walt Disney's frozen body, get it spinning fast enough, and boom, plenty of ...

April 20, 2021 by Marty in California

A rare photo of the sentient Speedway cars, taken just before the ride closed. Photo by Theme Park Tourist [CC BY 2.0] via Wikimedia Commons, modified.

Self-driving Tesla cars coming to Autopia and Tomorrowland Speedway

Could you program in a different destination? GLENDALE, CA -- Are the cars in Disneyland's Autopia and the Magic Kingdom's Tomorrowland Speedway being replaced with self-driving Teslas? That what some are saying, including our own headline. An anonymous Disney insider who recently left the company [Ed.: Hi, Joe!] has leaked a document detailing a new relationship between Elon Musk's Tesla and Disney. The document provides for attraction sponsorship by Tesla, a sponsorship that will bring self-driving, all-electric cars to Disneyland's Autopia and the ...

April 17, 2021 by Walt in California, Florida