cold Archives - Uncle Walt's Insider
Hurricane Elsa returns to work. Photo by CyclicalCore [CC BY-SA 3.0] via DeviantArt.

Elsa back at work after spending vacation as a hurricane

Hey, a lot of folks take vacations in the tropics. ARENDELLE -- Queen Elsa has officially returned to her duties after spending a week off in the Caribbean and southeast United States. "I was able to visit so many places I hadn't been before," said the Queen in a statement released by her press secretary. "I covered a lot of territory in a short time. Really, the whole trip was a whirl. "Maybe next time I'll slow down and spend time in one spot, ... Read more
Frozone and Queen Elsa pose for photographers at the Svalbard Summit.

Elsa / Frozone Summit ends without agreement

Each side blames the other for the continued cold snap. LONGYEARBEN, NORWAY -- The multi-day summit between Elsa, Queen of Arendelle, and Frozone, representing Metroville, ended early on Thursday without an accord. The two leaders met in facilities provided at the Svalbard headquarters of Uncle Walt's Insider, which had agreed to host the summit as a neutral but cold location. It had been hoped that an end to the inordinate winter cold would be negotiated, but apparently that will not happen. Talks fell apart when ... Read more
Suspect Number One. Image © 2013 Disney, via FrozenZenium on YouTube.

“Polar vortex” hits; Queen Elsa on the run again

Ub swears he saw her running across Lake Michigan, freezing it as she went. UNCLE WALT'S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD -- As temperatures plunge across Canada and the U.S. midwestern states, icy fingers are beginning to point, seeking someone to blame. Some say this is a rare but natural occurrence called a polar vortex. Others blame man-made global warming climate change. But we at Uncle Walt's know the true story: yep, it's Queen Elsa again. Okay, our lawyers are making us say it's "allegedly" ... Read more