chapek Archives - Uncle Walt's Insider
Personally, we can't wait for the crossover series. Photo elements © Disney.

Ads, no ads, or really specific ads – new Disney+ tiers announced

This article brought to you by Disney+, unless you pay us. GLENDALE-ISH, CA -- Disney CEO Bob "Bob" Chapek is continuing his practice of adding charges to things that used to be free! During a recent earnings call, Chapek announced that streaming service Disney+ will be adding advertisements, but that an ad-free experience would still be available -- for an additional fee, of course. Our intrepid reporters [Ed.: I don't think our reporters have been intrepid since Covid hit] were able to discover the ... Read more
Hey, look! He's even doing the two-finger point! Photo courtesy TripAdvisor, slightly (?) altered.

Disney to buy Holy Land Experience, replace images of Jesus with CEO Chapek

Walt: "Hey, Marty, can you make a cover image for a story on Bob Chapek replacing Jesus without being too blasphemous?" Marty: "Can I finally get paid for doing this?" Walt: "Ha ha ha ha ha! No." ORLANDO, FL-- Disney has announced exciting plans to acquire and reopen the Holy Land Experience theme park! In an all-cash deal valued at, oh, let's round it up to $20, Disney will buy the property, buildings, and intellectual property associated with the park. (See our companion article: ... Read more

Disneyland reveals new Magic Key prices – with a blockout date surprise!

By Groot's Hammer, what a savings! ANAHEIM, CA -- In a recent earnings call, Disney CEO and Grand Poobah Bob "Bob" Chapek had some big news that Disney fans are sure to love! While speaking about huge profits from the parks department, he said that big changes were in store - changes that guests should love! Starting in August, guests will be able to purchase a Magic Key in one of four tiers, all at rock bottom prices! For large values of "rock bottom"  ... Read more
What, no tacos? Photo by DisneyTouristBlog.com, used by permission, modified.

Disney Skyliner’s new emergency kit: what’s inside

Just in case the gondolas get stranded again. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- It's been a while since Disney's Skyliner gondola system crashed and left hundreds of riders stranded in the air for hours. But that doesn't mean that the Mouse isn't ready for the next time it happens! When the Skyliner first malfunctioned in what is now known as the Great Aerial Stranding of 2019, we learned that each gondola is equipped with an emergency supply kit. These kits, stored under the ... Read more
Who knows what he's planning next? Oh, wait, we do. Read the article. Why are you reading the copyright notices first anyway? Photo © Disney & SI.com.

Top 13 other things Ron DeSantis may do to punish Disney

No, Disney, he's not done with you yet! TALLAHASSEE, FL - Florida governor Ron DeSantis has been bringing a smackdown to the Disney company lately. Ever since Disney publicly opposed the popular Don't Groom Kids law in Florida (and video leaked of Disney exec meetings admitting they were inserting sexuality into kids' programming), Florida has been finding ways to make them regret it. DeSantis and the state legislature have repealed the Reedy Creek Improvement District, Disney's self-governing body. And there may be ... Read more