Uncle Walt's Insider Animal Kingdom Archives - Page 2 of 10

Using a telephoto lens, a shy baby Simba One can just be glimpsed behind its mother. Photo by Michael Lowin [CC BY-SA 3.0] via Wikimedia.

Disney’s Animal Kingdom welcomes newborn Safari Truck!

It will be months before handlers can get close enough to determine the gender. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- Disney's Animal Kingdom Theme Park and Spa has announced an addition to the Kilimanjaro Safari ride -- a newborn Safari Truck! Disney (the company) spokeswoman Jun Disney (no relation) is "very excited": "The Safari Truck breeding program has been around since the park opened," Disney (no relation) explained, "but until this month Disney (the company) has been unsuccessful at breeding a new baby truck." What's ...

Disney's new Lion Tiger King live remake. Photo of cuddly kitty cats [Public Domain. Photo of slightly cuddly Dwayne Johnson by Eva Rinaldi [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Wikimedia. Photo of not-so-cuddly Hillary Clinton by Gage Skidmore [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Wikimedia.

Carole Baskin will sponsor new Animal Kingdom attraction

This is something the people are clamoring for, right? ANIMAL KINGDOM, FL -- Uncle Walt's Insider is pleased to bring you this exclusive announcement from Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation): "Hey all you cool cats and kittens [Ed.: Shoot us now.], Jun Disney (the spokeswoman) [Ed.: no relation] from the Disney (the company) Company here to tell you all about a wild new sponsor coming to the Animal Kingdom Park at Walt Disney World Resort, Spa & Outlet Mall! Next: "Big ...

July 29, 2020 by Walt in Florida

(Step)Moms Panel: Where do you come down on the mask debate?

The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear (Step)Moms: Where do you come down on the whole mask debate?" - Anthony F., Washington DC Baby Yoda: Baby Yoda: Marty: Make up your mind. Baby Yoda: Walt: Hi Tony, thanks for asking. You have the right not to wear one, but a business has the right to ...

July 27, 2020 by Marty in step-planDisney

Madame Leota is pretty socially distanced inside a crystal ball. Is the mask really necessary? Photo by Cory Doctorow [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.

BREAKING: Haunted Mansion COVID overlay?

You can't tell if the grim ghosts are grinning behind their face masks. UNCLE WALT'S H.Q., SVALBARD -- With fans still reeling from the many changes to Disney parks, Uncle Walt's Insider has just learned of more to come. There are potential drastic changes to the Haunted Mansion attraction on their way, incorporating the COVID virus into the ride! Is nothing sacred? Won't someone think of the children? Our source We received an email from a faithful reader who wishes to remain anonymous. Well, we ...

July 22, 2020 by X in California, Florida

Not suitable to be worn at Walt Disney World. At least not as a mask. Photo [CC0] via Pixabay.

Disney: Gators are not acceptable face masks

We tried wearing a gator as a face mask. It wasn't comfortable. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- Disney officials are hard at work learning about potential guest behavior during their phased re-opening of the parks. Based on their observations, Disney has modified their face mask policy, banning the wearing of gators as face masks. This is news you will only read at Uncle Walt's Insider. Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) shared the following: Follow the bouncing virus "During this phased re-opening, we ...

July 15, 2020 by Walt in Florida