Uncle Walt's Insider Animal Kingdom Archives

The Iguanodon, or as the other dinos call it, the "Scab-osaurus." Photo by Michael Gray [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.

Disney Carnotauruses (Carnotauri?) vote to unionize

Just more bad news for Disney out of Florida. DINOLAND, USA -- In what is believed to be a first [Ed.: A first for Disney? A first for animatronic figures? A first for dinosaurs? We need details, people.], the animatronic Carnotauruses from the Dinosaur! ride at Disney's Animal Kingdom Theme Park and Spa have voted to unionize. The union vote was held last week, and passed by a surprisingly large majority. Dinosaur (the creatures) spokesperson and interpreter Jun Dino (no relation) said that ...

The five second rule does NOT apply to churros! Photo composite by Marty, as is the "comment below" question.

Man throws away entire churro at Animal Kingdom; riot breaks out

Rest in peace, poor churro, we hardly knew ye. HARAMBE, FL -- A riot broke out in the Africa section of Disney's Animal Kingdom after a man was spotted throwing away an entire churro. Our very own Uncle Walt witnessed this atrocity first hand. "I was taking note of a bit of paint chipped off the top of one of the buildings so I could file a complaint with Guest Relations about the state of the park," Uncle Walt told himself so ...

March 27, 2022 by Walt in Florida

Bob "Bob" Chapek was seen selling marshmallows for roasting for $5 each. Photo courtesy Disney Parks Blog.

Animal Kingdom burns its Christmas tree to warn of climate change

Greta Thunberg was overheard to comment, "Blah, blah, blah." WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- Disney's Animal Kingdom Theme Park, Conservation Center, and Animal Spa has always included environmental awareness in its mission. Guests not only experience animal-themed entertainment, but they also learn about the world, delicate ecosystems, and mankind's responsibility to our planet and other species. Well, they did until Rafiki's Planet Watch was shut down. But hey, now we have blue aliens. Even so, yesterday Disney made a bold statement about the dangers ...

December 9, 2021 by Marty in Florida

We'd watch one of these. Photos © Disney & by Hedgehog83 [CC BY 3.0] via Wikimedia Commons.

Animal Kingdom replaces kite show with more popular “Guy Doing Animal Hand Shadows”

It is a step up. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- The Walt Disney World Resort, Spa, and Money Printing Press is celebrating its 50th year of existence, along with its first year of really gouging guests for every shiny dime they have. Guests brave enough to pay all of Disney's new extra fees to actually get in the parks have expected dazzling new entertainment to go with the upcharges. Instead, the popular "Happily Ever After" projection and fireworks show at Magic Kingdom, which ...

November 4, 2021 by Marty in Florida

View from the front row of the slightly-scaled-down show. Photo by ellenm1 & Wally Gobetz [CC BY-NC 2.0] via Flickr. Inset photo by David162se [CC BY-SA 4.0] via Wikimedia. Cheerios by General Mills.

Festival of the Lion King returns. But not really.

We prefer it being part of the Safari queue. DISNEY'S ANIMAL KINGDOM, WDW, FL, USA, EARTH, MILKY WAY -- Park officials at Disney's Animal Kingdom Park, Resort, Spa & Butcher Shop claim that The Festival of the Lion King has returned. This news is, in fact, wrong. What has "returned" is a smaller show, with just 35% of the fun. The new show, called A Celebration of Festival of the Lion King, still features all of your favorite songs, but with a ...

May 14, 2021 by Walt in Florida