The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.]
“Dear (Step) Moms: I want to start my own news source. I currently write for an ultra-reliable, award-winning theme park news site. I have no intention of leaving, but I want to branch out into a news site that deals with more mainstream theme park news.
For one thing, every time someone shares an article from this other theme park news site, the article almost invariably has the words, “seems,” “appears,” “apparently,” or other specious terms and phrases in the first sentence. Often, those first sentences are run-on sentences. It drives me up a wall, and everyone at my employer shows so much more skill.
Also, my boss doesn’t pay me, despite the fact that he was able to score tickets to Walt Disney World during the quarantine – and those were NOT cheap. If I had a real theme park news site, I could make the money that my boss doesn’t pay me.
And beyond that, my coworkers all accuse me of pontificating, speechifying, and droning on and on when I write, adding way too much detail to my answers – half the time they redact three quarters of [REDACTED] what I say anyway.
So my question, then, is this: Is there any ethical barrier to starting my own theme park news site while writing for another?” – Anonymous, Svalbard, Norway
Dear “Anony Mouse,”
(I’m all for keeping your identity secret, Ub, but don’t you think the fact that your ‘question’ is only slightly shorter than War and Peace will give you away?)
Thank you for your question. I will answer it in two ways. First, through interpretive dance. (Look up from your cubicle.)
Second, any job is worth it if you get to write about churros. Heck, start forty new websites. It’s pretty obvious that any yahoo (or group of yahoos) can start a website and keep it running for years in spite of lack of readership and no monetization. [Ed.: Ouch!]
But if the staff of your new website gets actual free churro samples, take me with you.
Just don’t start WDWNT. Your grasp of the English language is too good for them.
I’m not talking to you. You ate all my Cheez-Its. Good day, sir.
Ub, get off the soapbox, that’s where X hides the Cheez-Its, they are the extra toasty ones too.
I said good day!
[No answer yet. Huh.]
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