The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.]
“Dear (Step)Moms: Other websites are saying Disney canceled their Halloween parties. If there’s no official Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party when I go to Magic Kingdom, can I just throw my own party while I’m there?” – Girish P., Moscow ID
Just don’t go to Walt Disney World. There are enough people there without you.
Hi Greg, thanks for asking. How exciting that you want to go to a Halloween Party!
Every where I go, it’s a party. So I see no difference for you and your friends. Just be sure to hand out plenty of candy. And the good stuff, not that budget bag of 8 billion pieces of crap candy.
Hi Girish. If you’re from Moscow, you know that vodka is colorless and odorless. Just swap out the water in your water bottle and you’ve got your party!
Not so fast, Comrade! We’re sick and tired of Russia trying to meddle in our elections, and our theme parks. You just tell Putin a big fat NO THANK YOU from Uncle Sam!
Oh. Moscow, Idaho? … Never mind.
[Off somewhere looking for a map.]
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