The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.]
“Dear (Step) Moms: We’re visiting Disneyland with our almost-3 year old. What are the best areas for her to have safe, unstructured (i.e. not on a ride) play?” – Lillie, CA
Hi Lyle, thanks for asking.
I recommend taking a cruise on the Finding Nemo Submarine Cruise Line. The children’s area onboard the submarines are fantastic, and the Cast Members do a wonderful job entertaining the children while you enjoy other activities. However, I would caution you to avoid the Lido deck while underway, as it is submerged.
Have a magical vacation!
First, ignore Baby Yoda. He says he’s a kid, but he’s over 50.
When we’ve taken young kids to Disneyland, we often just turn them loose in Downtown Disney while we enjoy the parks. There’s not only a lot for them to see and interact with in all the shops and restaurants, but it’s free — no park admission for them, and it’s not like they have cash or credit cards they can spend.
And we’ve gotten the kids back at the end of the day every time! Well, most of the time. And sometimes even without involving Security! Don’t worry, though. They weren’t our kids.
Ditching the kids makes Disney parks so much more fun! My suggestion? Don’t take them! The time you spend in the parks is a great time for them to learn a new skill, so drop them off with your local roofer or auto mechanic on the way. You just can’t start this stuff too early. It helps build work ethic.
My wife and I dropped our kids off with an air duct cleaning service, and they trained the little brats to crawl around the air ducts. Diapers are surprisingly effective at wiping things as the munchkins crawl by, and they can fit into all sorts of places that adults can’t.
And the best part is, these guys love taking care of our rug rats. In fact, they’re welcome any time and they pay us to watch our kids. They’re even covering our annual passes!
I’m going to echo the other folks. Leave the kids with Grandma and Grandpa. [Marty: Wish we’d thought of that. Anyone know any grandparents?] At 3, they’re probably too young to remember a trip to Disneyland anyways. I usually recommend that people don’t bring their kids until they’re 5 or 6.
Sadly, they usually don’t take my advice. My sister-in-law is about to bring my nephew and nieces down … The nephew is 4, and this is already his 4th trip to Disney. And don’t get me wrong, the kids are cute and I enjoy spending time with them, but they’d be just as happy at the playground at home.
Just don’t go to Build-a-Bear. There are already enough people there without you.
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