Tattoos? Piercings? Guys wearing nail polish? Whirr, whirr, whirr, whirr, whirrrrrr...
ANAHEIM, CA -- No more blackouts for the California power grid -- the problem of an insufficient electrical supply has been solved, perhaps permanently!
"Our Imagineers -- smart people -- they've theorized this was possible for quite a while," said Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation). "Just hook up a generator in the vault where we have Walt Disney's frozen body, get it spinning fast enough, and boom, plenty of ...
Could you program in a different destination?
GLENDALE, CA -- Are the cars in Disneyland's Autopia and the Magic Kingdom's Tomorrowland Speedway being replaced with self-driving Teslas? That what some are saying, including our own headline.
An anonymous Disney insider who recently left the company [Ed.: Hi, Joe!] has leaked a document detailing a new relationship between Elon Musk's Tesla and Disney. The document provides for attraction sponsorship by Tesla, a sponsorship that will bring self-driving, all-electric cars to Disneyland's Autopia and the ...
Our insiders know all the tips and tricks to help you avoid large crowds when visiting Mickey!
WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- Don't go.
[Ed.: Okay, who let Harriet write an article?]
Do you have any other tricks for avoiding crowds? Comment below!
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Cover photo: It would be more crowded with you. Photo by Joe Penniston [CC BY-NC-ND 2.0] via Flickr.
The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.]
"Dear (Step)Moms: Did I miss something? You said that you'd be meeting your readers at Disneyland last Saturday. I was in the Plaza at 8:00 sharp and waited around for an hour, but never saw you. What gives?" - Jillian Bannister, ...