Also, run a virus scan on your computer before visiting Uncle Walt’s Insider.
UNCLE WALT’S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD — First, the good news: COVID-19 has not infected any Uncle Walt’s Insider staff. You could say it’s because of the precautions we’re taking, but let’s be honest. People have been “socially distancing” themselves from us long before this current situation.
We’ve never been the types to follow a crowd, but with everyone putting out an official Coronavirus policy, we figured we’d better get one out there ourselves. So, effective immediately:
1. No more than 50 people may read Uncle Walt’s Insider at the same time.
This is probably unnecessary, as we rarely have 50 readers in a year. Still, better safe than sorry. If you’re reading UWI and 50 of your friends let you know they are too, log off immediately. (And get new friends.)
2. Hose down your monitor and keyboard after every article.
Especially any written by Ub. We’d explain why, but you really don’t want to know. Just trust us.
3. Send churros.
We are self-quarantining at our headquarters until theme parks reopen and we can make fun of them again. Unfortunately, there was a run on churros at the Svalbard Kroger before we had a chance to stock up. (Not pointing fingers, but Uncle Walt did seem to have more cinnamon sugar around his mouth than normal in the last day or two.)
4. Still don’t lick Gaston.
That was part of our super-well-timed advice on going to Disney parks last week. Sure, the parks are shut down for now — but that just means that the Cast Member “working with” Gaston is on the loose in the general public somewhere. No licking!
So that’s our official policy. You’ll likely see fewer posts from us until the parks reopen or we have non-virus related news to share. And we’ll try to share updates on our quarantine from time to time.
In the meantime, stay safe, smile, and really — send churros!
Why are you reading this? Comment below after sending us churros!
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