We’re looking forward to walking our luggage from the airport to Walt Disney World.
WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL — Walt Disney World recently gave us the totally exciting and not-at-all upsetting news that in 2022, the Disney’s Magical Express service will be eliminated completely. With no more Magical Express, guests will be forced to hop into the nearest ride-share, cab, or overpriced car transfer service, to reach the Most Magical Place on Earth. Also, Extra Magic Hours are not returning, except for guests staying onsite getting to skip security checks so they can get in the parks a few minutes earlier.
But there’s more to just
obscene profit-making cost-cutting in these moves. Uncle Walt’s Insider has discovered additional plans for on-resort transportation options, that will provide an updated experience beyond the typical bus, monorail (except to the Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow [EPCT])*, or Skyliner.
We spoke with Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation), and she explained the thought process behind all of these changes.
A master plan?
“We’re constantly evaluating transportation options,” says Disney (no relation). “We saw how elated guests were that we put in a walkway between that fancy hotel and that park without a Star Wars land, and that made us realize that guests love to walk! So we’re getting rid of the Magical Express, and now we’re in talks with whatever county we’re in to put in sidewalks from the airport to here, so guests can walk to the Walt Disney World resort with their luggage. They are going to love it!
“But the best is coming. On resort property, we’re going to just get rid of all of the pavement! We’ll put in dirt walkways so guests will know where to go and won’t just wander around aimlessly, or get lost in the woods.
“We also had an unpaid intern do a study of footwear, and he found that most guests wear either timberland boots that have never been scuffed or flip flops to the parks. So these are perfect shoe choices for the mud they’ll likely encounter due to all of the rain in Orlando. Yes, the roads will remain so our busses don’t get stuck, but that’s it. Guests will love it!”
*The monorails are already slated to be replaced with sidewalks.
Does it seem like the world is getting dumber? Let us know in the comments below!
Cover photo: The new walkway from the Contemporary to the Magic Kingdom. Photo by Sarah Charlesworth [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Wikimedia.