“Lonely World” is an ongoing series featuring romance tips for single adults visiting theme park destinations on their own.
In today’s fast paced, self-driven world, many of us do not have time to invest in other people. And let’s face it, some of us you are just outright undateable. If you fit into these two categories, this article is for you! Join us as our own Uncle Walt walks us through dining alone at Walt Disney World!
Dining alone – how it all started
Uncle Walt: My first meal alone at Walt Disney World wasn’t because I can’t find friends, or even a significant other. Unlike you, people like me. In fact, I am married with children! However, due to my job, I am often walking the parks alone. This means I need often have to eat alone. I’ve seen guests like you in the parks, looking lost, lonely, and hungry. So this is for you!
When I find myself hungry, and feeling lonely, while visiting the parks, I take a few steps to alleviate both of these needs. I want to help you, the loser [Ed: is this insulting?], to mitigate both of these feelings.
Dining alone – how to do it
First: Avoid table service at all costs. Nothing screams loser like the hostess calling out, Marty! Party of one! First of all, how can it be a party if there is only one? So no matter how good it sounds, avoid it. Also, do not go into a lounge and take a seat at the bar. While this seems like the proper thing to do, keep in mind that the word “lounge” is Latin for “loser.”
Second: Counter service is your best friend. When you order, you can make comments like, my friends just wanted some churros, but I was hankering for one of your delicious chili dogs. If you say it loud enough, people around you will think you’re not alone. You might also convince yourself.
Third: Always sit close to other people eating. When you get your food, do not isolate yourself in the corner like you do at your local Starbucks. If you sit close to other people, especially large parties, everyone will just assume you’re with them. They might even talk to you! And when you respond, don’t blow it like you usually do.
Fourth: While it doesn’t involve eating, this is important: when you visit an attraction, no matter if there is a single rider line or not, just comment to those around you how great the single rider lines are at the attractions. You also need to throw in things like, Yeah, my buddy Ub is freaked out by mermaids, thank God for single rider lines! Sure you might be spreading false information, and you might even be remembered as the person who spread that false information, but at least you’ll be remembered!
Dining alone – final thoughts
Again, I can’t say I entirely relate to you undateable types. I am married, with children (of my own making)! And I have friends, lots of friends! People like me.
But not everyone can be like me. And that’s okay! There is still a place for you at Walt Disney World. Just don’t act weird and creep people out. If that is you, either take some classes and change, or go to Universal. There are lots of of those weirdos at that Harry Potter place.
Do you tour WDW alone? Let us know in the comments below!