The losing teams in this annual “Hunger Games”-style event will be out of work.
WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL — Companies around the globe sponsor softball leagues for their employees, and the Walt Disney Company and Spa is no exception. But as the Fall softball tournament and spa kicks off today for Walt Disney World Cast Members, there’s an undercurrent of fear among the players. You see, as a “encouragement to excellence,” these Cast Members know their jobs are on the line if they lose.
The sounds of Summ… uh, November
The Disney Cast Member Softball Field, located on Winter Garden Vineland Road, has all the sights and sounds you’d expect from a softball field in any other location. Vendors hawking churros, grass spray-painted green after that one late-night incident with the tractor, grizzled old umpires with names like Benny or Lenny or Denny yelling “I need a batter!”
But for all the normality of the location, there’s a hint of terror underlying the game. You see, the Cast Members (on teams with cute names like “Umpire Strikes Back,” “Quit Your Pitchin’,” and “Epcot CMs Suk”) know that their very livelihood is on the line.
Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) explains why.
“We figure, first of all, that if they have time to be playing softball, we’re not keeping them busy enough on their jobs,” says Disney (no relation). “Just signing up for the leagues is a strike against them.”
“Heh, ‘strike.’ I didn’t even mean to do a pun there.”
“Anyway, a few years back the Hunger Games books and films came out, and we were inspired. Unlike those films, though, we couldn’t actually kill off the weaker Cast Members. We did research that option, yes, but it turns out the law is pretty clear that that would still be murder. So we do the next best thing, which is to have them battle for their cushy Mouse jobs.”
Play by play — until the axe falls
There are two divisions in Cast Member Softball, the Mickey League and the slightly weaker Donald League. (There is technically also an even weaker “Goofy” League, but those Cast Members are sent packing just for signing up for that league.) Uncle Walt’s Insider will keep you posted as the tournament progresses.
Is your job worth playing softball? Let us know in the comments below!
Cover photo: Fireworks explode in celebration of more Cast Members losing their jobs. Photo by X.