Following these tips will put money in your pocket, assuming it was already there.
DISNEYLAND, CA — The experts here at Uncle Walt’s Insider are theme park veterans. [Ed.: Marty, while that word is accurate, please quit insisting that it means that Veteran’s Day applies to you.] And we have taken all of our amazing experience and knowledge and smushed it together into one gooey mass, about the size of a volleyball. Then we stretched it back out, ironed it flat, hung it out to dry, and cut it into chewy strips. It tastes a bit like chicken, if chicken had the texture of a fruit roll-up.
Where were we going with this? Not sure. So forget all of that, and enjoy these amazing tips that will save you money on your next visit to the Disneyland Resort and Spa:
5. Eat nothing but churros
Churros are amazing! Not only do they taste great, they are also a nutritionally complete food, meaning that they provide 100% of all of your daily nutrients in every serving. Maybe every bite! Okay, we made that up, but they do taste good. And every moment spent eating a churro is time you’re not spending money in restaurants or stores!
4. Make your own souvenirs
Did you know you can make your own Mickey ears? All it takes is a couple of round plastic lids and a hot glue gun! (Or, if you don’t want to glue things to your head, maybe a hat to glue them to.) No more buying those overpriced beanies from Le Chapeau! And of course that frees up more money for churros!
3. Enjoy the plaza
Did you know that you don’t need park admission to go through Disneyland Security and mill around in the plaza between Disneyland and California Adventure? There are benches there, Disney music is playing all around you, and monorails pass by every few minutes. It’s almost the complete park experience, and you save hundreds of dollars by not going through the entrance gates! (Pro tip: if you head far enough east into Downtown Disney, they sell churros!)
2. Leave the kids at home
Who says Disneyland is for families? (Besides Walt Disney, we mean.) Find out how much happier an adults-only day can be at the Happiest Place on Earth! Just leave the big ones in charge of the little ones, tell them you have to have “a procedure,” glue your homemade mouse ears to your scalp and head out the door! Just be sure to brush the churro crumbs off your clothing before you return.
1. Don’t go
This is the favorite strategy of Uncle Walt’s writers, since Walt doesn’t pay us enough to visit on our own very often. (Besides, the airfare from Svalbard to L.A. is brutal!) Did you know that it costs literally nothing to stay away from Disneyland? So the next time you get an urge to go there, run the numbers, figure out the total cost, and then don’t go! It’s like money in the bank (assuming you had the total amount in the bank to begin with)!
Do you have any tips we haven’t thought of? Let us know in the comments below!
Cover photo: You can save lots of $$ if you don’t go here! Photo [CC0] via Wikimedia.