“I don’t even speak Netherlandian.” ROTTERDAM, THE NETHERLANDS — Disney’s new video streaming service, Disney+, won’t go live in the U.S. until next month, but some impatient fans aren’t waiting. You see, Disney+ is already active in the Netherlands. Consequently, over 10.3 million Disney fans have renounced their U.S. citizenship and applied for permanent residency…
The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] “Dear (Step) Moms: Can you take water transportation from Hollywood Studio’s to Disney Springs?”…
Repairs now give “better than 50%” chance of completing your journey. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL — Just a little over a week after the Great Skyliner Immobility of One-NinerTM (and Disney’s unpopular attempt to turn it into an attraction), the Disney Skyliner gondola system has reopened to guests. Park officials report that repairs and changes…
![Ford, seen here napping between ride vehicles. Photo by Loren Javier [CC BY-ND 2.0] via Flickr.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/harrison-ford-is-worn-out-768x432.jpg)
He’ll be replaced by audio-animatronics. DISNEYLAND, CA — Actor Harrison Ford, age 77, has informed Disneyland officials that he will no longer be playing Indiana Jones in the Indiana Jones Adventure ride. A spokesperson for the actor says that the repeated performances for each ride vehicle, involving rope climbing and outrunning large boulders, was becoming…
The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] “Dear (Step) Moms: The holiday season is approaching! What is your favorite thing about…