Uncle Walt's Insider Marty, Author at Uncle Walt's Insider

StupidGuestTricks.com, now a wholly-owned subsidiary of Uncle Walt's Insider.

BREAKING: Uncle Walt’s to acquire StupidGuestTricks.com

The rumored $1B buyout was modeled after Disney's purchase of Go.com. UNCLE WALT'S H.Q., SVALBARD -- Uncle Walt's Insider is pleased to announce its acquisition of StupidGuestTricks.com. Stupid Guest Tricks, a website founded within minutes of the creation of the internet, is a forum-based discussion site which focuses on theme park stories and bad guest behavior. It reaches an estimated 7 billion people each week, or would if they would just put the address in their web browsers. "The timing could not be better," ...

Photo of Vault Disney courtesy of Disney, duh.

Disney classics not yet made into sequels

We help Disney to know what movies to make next. UNCLE WALT'S H.Q., SVALBARD -- With Christopher Robin still in theaters, Mary Poppins Returns coming in December, and announcement of a new live action Song of the South, you may be asking, what's left of Disney's classic films? What other movies from their history could they possibly remake or add a sequel to? Well, our crack team of researchers here at our Longyearbyen headquarters [Ed.: where it's illegal to die, by the way] have assembled a list ...

September 27, 2018 by Marty in Other

Mickey's Fairly-Scary Halloween Party. Photo by Jeff Christiansen [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.

“Mickey’s Not-So-Scary Halloween Party” upgraded to “Fairly-Scary”

Stay tuned here for forecast updates and landfall predictions. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- "Mickey's Not-So-Scary Halloween Party" (MNSSHP) has been upgraded for the second time recently and is now a Category 4, "Fairly-Scary" Halloween Party, according to the National Scariness-Tracking Center. The MNSHHP has been increasing in scariness since its late August debut. Beginning at a Category 1, "Not-Scary" party, the Magic Kingdom Park aims to maintain the ticketed event at Category 2, "Not-So-Scary." "That's the level that seems to satisfy the most ...

September 26, 2018 by Marty in Florida

Disney's new political advertising in their theme parks. Photo by shelbypickitt via Instagram.

BREAKING: Disney to allow political sponsors

Magic Kingdom unveils Trump campaign ad on Main Street USA. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- Since the earliest days of Disneyland, Disney theme parks have sought corporate sponsors for many locations and attractions, but politics were off-limits. But, as with the prohibitions against alcohol and Cast Member piercings, the restriction against political ads is going away. Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) spoke with Uncle Walt's Insider. "Disney Parks and Resorts and Spas is [are?] always looking for ways to make the guest ...

September 25, 2018 by Marty in California, Florida, World

More fees for Walt Di$ney World? Photo via Pixabay, modified.

New Disney tech knows when guests have money left over

The Mouse is just gathering the data for now, but may eventually keep guests from leaving. WALT DISNEY WORLD, CA -- The Walt Disney Company is reportedly testing new technology which tells the company when a guest has money remaining. The system is code-named "McDuck" after Donald Duck's miserly uncle Scrooge McDuck. It reportedly interfaces existing guest identification technology like Magic Bands with currency sensors and online bank records. The company can tell now if a guest is leaving a theme park with ...

September 24, 2018 by Marty in Florida