“Oompa, loompa, doopity doo! If you cross Wonka, you know he’ll sue!”
HERSHEY, PA — “We didn’t say anything when they opened a chocolate themed amusement park. We turned a blind eye when they started hiring Oompa-Loompas. But this is too much!”
That’s the statement of Litigious Gloop, an attorney representing Wonka Enterprises Inc., on the new ‘Chocolate River Boat Adventure’ at Pennsylvania’s chocolate themed Hershey Park.
“They are being sneaky about it, that’s for sure,” Gloop tells Uncle Walt’s Insider in an exclusive interview that he’s also giving to a dozen other news outlets. “Oh, you read the headlines today, and they all claim that their park is being flooded. But Mr. Wonka knows a chocolate river when he sees one.”
Chocolate wars
We reached out to Hershey Park for a comment, and spokesperson Jun Hershey (no relation) returned our call. “Yes, we got a cease-and-desist letter from Wonka, but I really can’t comment on ongoing litigation. And frankly, we’re too busy dealing with the ‘floods’ right now, but we predict the outcome of any legal battle will be scrumdiddlyumptious.”
“See? See?” Gloop exclaimed when told of Hershey (no relation)’s remarks. “They’re as bad as Slugworth.”
The Wonka lawyer then cut off the call, but not before we heard an older man’s voice singing: “Mess with me, and you’ll be, in a world of painful litigation…”
Is it really a bad thing to have more than one chocolate river in the world? Comment below!
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