Feet: the original “people mover.” MAGIC KINGDOM, FL — Just in time for the amazing summer weather in Florida, officials at Walt Disney World have re-opened the Tomorrowland Transit Authority Peoplemover — after the installation of sidewalks. Disney (the company) spokesthey [Ed.: What?] Jun Disney (no relation) spoke with our imbedded reporters [Ed.: What exactly…
![Epcot's Iran Pavilion, pictured before tomorrow's air strike. Photo by Alen Ištoković [CC BY 3.0] via Wikimedia Commons.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/epcot-iran-pavilion-world-showcase-768x403.jpg)
This is the worst international incident at Epcot since the maps calling Canada “America’s Hat.” WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL — Tensions are high in EPCOT Center’s World Showcase, as one pavilion is accusing another of sabotage and breaching its sovereign territory. The Epcot Iran Pavilion suffered a power outage for several hours yesterday afternoon. The…
Will other Pavilions do the same? We’re looking at you, France. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL — Goodbye, Morocco. Hello, Morrocette? Disney officials announced today that the Morocco Pavilion at the EPCOT Theme Park, Resort, Spa & Institute for Gender Studies has undergone gender reassignment surgery. The land in the World Showcase portion of the park…
![Electrical lines soon to carry Walt-generated power! Photo [CC0] via Picryl.com.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/electrical-lines-soon-to-carry-disney-generated-power-768x403.jpg)
Tattoos? Piercings? Guys wearing nail polish? Whirr, whirr, whirr, whirr, whirrrrrr… ANAHEIM, CA — No more blackouts for the California power grid — the problem of an insufficient electrical supply has been solved, perhaps permanently! “Our Imagineers — smart people — they’ve theorized this was possible for quite a while,” said Disney (the company) spokesperson…
![A rare photo of the sentient Speedway cars, taken just before the ride closed. Photo by Theme Park Tourist [CC BY 2.0] via Wikimedia Commons, modified.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/tomorrowland-speedway-cars-became-sentient-e1618499720196-768x403.jpg)
Could you program in a different destination? GLENDALE, CA — Are the cars in Disneyland’s Autopia and the Magic Kingdom’s Tomorrowland Speedway being replaced with self-driving Teslas? That what some are saying, including our own headline. An anonymous Disney insider who recently left the company [Ed.: Hi, Joe!] has leaked a document detailing a new…