svalbard Archives - Uncle Walt's Insider
Meet the newest Disney Imagineer. Photo © 2021 Google / Street View.

Elon Musk to purchase Uncle Walt’s Insider

He wanted to buy the Babylon Bee, but that's actually worth something. UNCLE WALT'S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD -- Fresh off his purchase (and purge) of Twitter, billionaire Elon Musk announced today his plans to purchase Uncle Walt's Insider. The move comes after his first attempt to buy a news satire site, The Babylon Bee, fell through, due to the Bee "actually being worth something." While the final purchase details for Uncle Walt's have not been disclosed (unlike Twitter, U.W.I. is not a publicly ...
November 18, 2022 by Marty in Spotlight
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We're really not accusing anyone. At least, not in any legally-actionable way.

UWI Story Idea Vault breached; investigation ongoing

That cover photo is just a placeholder. No accusations are being made. Yet. UNCLE WALT'S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD -- Uncle Walt's Insider today announced (by this article, in fact) that they are investigating a breach into their Vault of Story Ideas (known also as the Story Idea Vault, or the Idea Vault of Stories). The U.W.I. Story Idea Vault (see previous paragraph) is kept under lock and key inside the renowned Svalbard Global Seed Vault, known for its ultra-tight security.* "We're not sure who ...
October 20, 2022 by Marty in Other
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Artist's conception of Chapek arriving at the Uncle Walt's Insider Headquarters in Svalbard. Most of the photo and its various elements © Disney.

Bob Chapek applies to write for Uncle Walt’s Insider

Would you hire this man? UNCLE WALT'S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD -- An Uncle Walt's Insider staff member who would like to remain anonymous (Ub Skrewi) has revealed that Bob "Bob" Chapek, CEO of ABC/Disney, recently applied to write for Uncle Walt's Insider! "It was the most bizarre thing," said Skrewi. "I was working in the front office, and Bob 'Bob' Chapek walked in with an application to come to write for us. Which is especially weird, since we don't have any applications." [Ed.: And ...
October 23, 2021 by Ub in Other
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UWI (Step)Moms Panel

(Step)Moms Panel: A cure for stupidity in our lifetime?

The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear (Step)Moms: Will we see a cure for stupidity in our lifetime?" - Timothy H., Hot Springs, AR Walt: Hi Tommy, thanks for asking. How exciting you want to cure stupidity! It’s a noble cause, however I think it’ll only happen if a giant ...
August 17, 2020 by Marty in step-planDisney
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UWI (Step)Moms Panel

(Step)Moms Panel: What do I get if I saw Uncle Walt in person?

The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear (Step)Moms: I think I saw Uncle Walt at Walt Disney World. Do I win a prize?" - Frona D., Greenvile NC X: Only if you bought him a churro.  Harriet: Just don't go to Walt Disney World. Uncle Walt is already there without you. Baby ...
August 13, 2020 by Marty in step-planDisney
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