The Science® says the virus won’t survive the freezing process. Probably. Maybe. SACRADEMENTO, CA — Gov. Gavin Newsom (D-Hypocrite) issued new guidelines for theme park reopening in California today. Disneyland can reopen to any guests who have been frozen in carbonite for at least 14 days. Admission preference will be given to anyone frozen since…
All the other websites have maps. Why not us? UNCLE WALT’S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD — In what can only be described as “shocking” (it’s right there in the headline, see?), a new map of the United States of America provides amazing insight into our current condition. Uncle Walt’s Insider is the only place you will…
![Cinderella Castle, moved two inches to the left. Photo by Flickr user: Michael Gray Wantagh [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Wikimedia.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/cinderella-castle-moved-two-inches-to-the-left-768x403.jpg)
Why would you even rely on GPS in the 1960’s? WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL — Bad data from 1960-era GPS satellites has forced Disney to make minor changes to the entire Walt Disney World area, all 39 square miles. Orlando Land engineer Bucky “Buck” Buckercocktosten filed a drawing with the Reedy Creek Improvement District recently…
The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] “Dear (Step)Moms: I’ve read that (Step)Mom Walt recently visited Walt Disney World, and Marty…
The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] “Dear (Step)Moms: I know you’ve said Walt Disney World is requiring temperature checks for…