pirates Archives - Uncle Walt's Insider
Not an actual photo of the boarding, but wouldn't it be cool if it happened like this? Artist concept © Lucasfilm & Disney.

Star Wars: Galactic Starcruiser raided by pirates

Pictured: artist's concept of the pirate-...ing. BATUU, OUTER RIM -- Guests aboard the Halcyon starcruiser had a frightening experience recently in the Outer Rim Territories. A group of pirates, believed to be hiding out at Black Spire Outpost, boarded the starcruiser with blasters drawn and threatening guests and crew. The Halcyon, a Corellian MPO-1400 model starcruiser (home port: Nassau, The Bahamas), is a 100-cabin vessel hailed as the "jewel of the Chandrila Star Line."  Don't you hate it when your blue shrimp and noodles ... Read more

True Tales of Stupid Guests: Episode 17

"True Tales: from the files of Stupid Guest Tricks" is an ongoing series, where we share believable stories of park guests' unbelievable stupidity. FROM STUPID GUEST TRICKS -- StupidGuestTricks.com was a website founded to provide Disney Cast Members and other theme park employees a place to vent about some of the idiots they've dealt with. Most Cast Members will tell you that 99% of the guests they deal with are wonderful, but there's always that 1% that lead to aggravation -- and ... Read more
This isn't another death that happened a long time ago that we should have known about, is it? Photo © Disney.

Wicked Wench sinks, Captain Barbossa feared dead

Funny, we're pretty sure we've witnessed this battle scene while floating by in a tiny boat. DISNEYLAND RESORT, CA -- For years and years, Captain Barbossa has waged war against the small village of Puerto Dorado on Isla Tesoro, as witnessed by hundreds of thousands of guests floating by the battle scene in tiny boats. Barbossa was attacking because the village refused to produce Captain Jack Sparrow. Of course, everyone knows Captain Jack Sparrow is nowhere to be found in that attraction. The ... Read more
UWI Step Moms Panel

(Step)Moms Panel: Should a former Bernie voter support Biden?

The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear (Step) Moms: I've been Bernie Sanders supporter. Now that he has dropped out of the race, should I support Joe Biden?" - Louisa S., Albany NY Marty: Dear Eliza: Very good question! I've ridden both of them, and they both have their ... Read more
Something of the Caribbean sign. Photo by Jonnyboyca [CC0] via Wikimedia Commons.

Pirates of the Caribbean ride update will remove all references to pirates

"It's the obvious next step, given the changes up until now." GLENDALE, CA -- It is well-known that the current Pirates of the Caribbean rides are different than the original versions. As society has changed and developed certain sensitivities, Disney Imagineers have altered the ride experience to avoid offense. Pirate men first chased the town's women, then their food, and now the women chase them. The Redhead is no longer up for auction, but is a pirate herself. And as society became ... Read more