Soon, Escanaba will be just like Orlando! But slightly colder. ORLANDO, FL — Following an announcement that construction on their new “Epic Universe” theme park had been halted, Universal Orlando hit us with another surprise. Rather than being the third park [Ed.: Universal claims it would be their fourth, but a warmed-over version of Wet…
The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] “Dear (Step)Moms: Now that Walt Disney World is back open, do you have any…
![Not suitable to be worn at Walt Disney World. At least not as a mask. Photo [CC0] via Pixabay.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/gator-masks-banned-disney-768x403.jpg)
We tried wearing a gator as a face mask. It wasn’t comfortable. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL — Disney officials are hard at work learning about potential guest behavior during their phased re-opening of the parks. Based on their observations, Disney has modified their face mask policy, banning the wearing of gators as face masks. This…
![Colin Kaepernick, looking quite at home at Disneyland. Photo by Melissa Hillier [CC BY-2.0] via Wikimedia.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/disneyland-adds-colin-kaepernick-bench-experience-768x403.jpg)
The former NFL player will rotate between Disney’s U.S. theme parks and spend time on several benches in each one. BURBANK, CA — Details have emerged about Colin Kaepernick’s new contract with The Disney Company. Apparently the activist and shoe salesman is being paid millions of dollars to sit on benches at various Disney theme…
The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] “Dear (Step)Moms: Are these really real questions sent in by your readers? Do you…