First they came for the ducks, but I did not speak out because I was not a duck… SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Complete Unbiased® social media giant Twitter is permanently banning the @RealDonaldDuck account from ever tweeting again. Head Twit Jack Dorsey announced the move today. “We try to understand The Donald’s tweets, but they…
![The last Disney fireworks not to be sold on the black market. Photo by Ethically Yours [CC BY-SA 3.0] via Wikimedia.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/disney-black-market-fireworks-768x403.jpg)
We only make up stuff when we want to start a rumor. (This, for example.) BOCA CHICA, TX — For the first time in Walt Disney World history, fireworks did not explode over Cinderella Castle as the clock struck midnight on New Years Eve. In fact, Disney has not launched a barrage of exploding shells…
The logo changes are so subtle. Can you spot them? ANAHEIM, CA — Disney’s recent attempt to re-open Disneyland as an autonomous zone has failed, Uncle Walt’s Insider can now report. Governor Gavin Newsom (D[highlight bg=”#000000″ color=”#000000″]espicable[/highlight]) quickly saw that the change was making his subjects freer and happier without authorization by his regime, so…
Throw a few barricades and hand-painted signs in front of the security checkpoints, and they’re good to go! ANAHEIM, CA — Borrowing an idea from Seattle protestors, today the Disney Company declared the Disneyland Resort an “autonomous zone” and opened the parks. The move comes in defiance of a ban by California Governor Gavin Newsom…
The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] “Dear (Step)Moms: how often do u pee?” – joe, “here” Grogu: Marty: I’m with…