Officials were inspired by the new Disneyland masks. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL — The Walt Disney World Resort and Spa and Biological Warfare Factory has had its share of odd rules over the last year. To combat the pandemic, park officials have required guests to fully immerse themselves in hand sanitizer, prohibited wearing gators (presumably…
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Here’s all you need to know about the return to Walt’s original park! ANAHEIM, CA — Thanks to fake Biden’s executive order and impenetrable mask breakthroughs, Disneyland may actually reopen soon! So we thought we’d share with you what to expect when you return to Disneyland. Buckle in, and away we go! Stale churros We…
Finally, proof of the long-rumored Disney weather technology. E.P.C.O.T. CENTRE, FL — As Disney struggles with the dome over Walt Disney World, they have made the bold move to bring the machines they use to control the weather into full view of guests. The devices were originally thought to be part of a new nighttime…
The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] “Dear (Step)Moms: I’m a little confused. I want to create a touring plan for…
!["Father," in the middle of a racist and homophobic rant, probably. Photo by SteamFan [CC BY-SA 3.0] via Wikimedia.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/new-carousel-of-progressives-768x403.jpg)
Welcome guest contributor Vier Eiken to Uncle Walt’s Insider! No, he’s not getting paid. BAY LAKE, FL — The Walt Disney World Resort, Spa, Jello Factory, and Dog Track announced today that, in keeping with its commitment to inclusion and tolerance, the “Carousel of Progress” will be reimagined. The newly updated attraction will reopen in…