![Non-socially distanced villains at Walt Disney World. Photo by Leigh Caldwell [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/non-socially-distanced-disney-characters-768x403.jpg)
Why? Because they’re “eeeevil.” WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL — When Walt Disney World fully reopens in July of 2025, a number of virus-prevention requirements will be in place. But not for everyone. Disney villains will not be required to wear masks, or practice social distancing. Realism “Our goal, as always, is realistic storytelling,” explains Disney…
![Goofy, shortly after being appointed CEO. We're assuming Toon Town is in shambles now. Photo by Loren Javier [CC BY-ND 2.0] via Flickr.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/goofy-one-day-as-ceo-768x403.jpg)
Goofy wasn’t fit to be Disney CEO. His name isn’t Bob. BURBANK, CA — Mickey Mouse is back. After announcing his retirement yesterday, the Mouse “pulled an Iger” and announced his unretirement today. No formal reason was given. A source tells Uncle Walt’s Insider, however, that Goofy was a “disaster.” Anonymous sources Minnie Our source,…
![Mickey Mouse. Not Marty. Image by Loren Javier [CC BY-ND 2.0] via Flickr.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/not-me-as-mickey-e1591114467404-768x404.jpg)
He’ll still make appearances, but he’s turning over the running of the company to Goofy. BURBANK, CA — In a stunning move, Disney icon Mickey Mouse is retiring as the “big boss” of the Disney empire. The company announced today that Mickey, who is well into his 90’s, is “stepping away” to spend more time…
![A medical team models the donated Mickey ear masks. Photo [CC0] via Pxhere.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/hospital-staff-modeling-new-mickey-masks-768x432.jpg)
They’re slow in getting to providers, though. Custom name embroidery takes time. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL — Like so many businesses during this crisis, The Mad Hatter hat store at the Disneyland Theme Park and Spa is using its special skills to respond to the medical emergency. They are the staging ground for approximately 600,000 mouse-ear…
Or until Disney lets the Mickey Mouse copyright lapse. Whichever comes first. BR’ER BANK, CA — In what is being hailed as a “triumphant return of Dear Leader” and a “glorious victory over the forces of oppression,” Bob “Robert” Iger has resumed his duties as CEO of the Disney Company. Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun…