The Uncle Walt’s Insider step-planDisney (Step)Moms answer your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] “Dear step-planDisney (Step)Moms: I’d really like to stay at that new Disney Star Wars hotel,…
![The anal probing was happening just off-camera. Thankfully. Photo by Sergey Galyonkin [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/star-wars-batuu-galaxys-edge-disneyland-768x403.jpg)
Can Covid actually infect all of those different Star Wars species? BLACK SPIRE OUTPOST (CA, NOT FL) — As many on Planet Earth attempt to return to some sort of normal, another planet is going back into lockdown. The Governor of Black Spire Outpost has announced that due to the Covid-19 Delta Variant, Batuu would…
![COVID I, II, & III writer-director George Lucas. Photo by Nicolas Genin [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Wikimedia.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/covid-123-director-george-lucas-768x403.jpg)
At least if they’re like the Star Wars prequels, they won’t be infectious. BURBANK, CA — Walt Disney Studios announced today that George Lucas is producing a new trilogy for theatrical release based on COVID 19. The new movies, given the working titles of COVID I, II & III, will be written, produced, and directed…
In spite of what you think you saw onscreen, he had Covid in his blood at time of death. BLACK SPIRE OUTPOST, BATUU — A short statement released by the First Order confirms what many outlets have been reporting: Emperor Palpatine is dead from the coronavirus. The statement is below. The statement “The First Order sadly…
They’re really in demand. We should make a killing. UNCLE WALT’S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD — Our readers have been clamoring for new additions to the Uncle Walt’s Insider Online Mercantile, especially since we’ve run out of “Surf Svalbard” t-shirts and autographed Baby Yoda plushes. And so we proudly announce the following additions to our store:…